हिजाब आणि शिक्षण

 कर्नाटकात हिजाब घातलेल्या मुलींना शाळेत येण्यास बंदी

शाळा, महाविद्यालये पुढील सुनावणीपर्यंत बंद 

हिजाबचा वाद हिंदू राष्ट्रापर्यंत

गेले काही महिने अशा अनेक बातम्यांनी बरीच खळबळ माजवली होती. हे सगळं एैकताना बऱ्याच गोष्टी आठवल्या. 

माझ्या शाळेत एक मुस्लिम मुलगी होती जिचे आई वडील उच्चशिक्षित होते . ती एकदा कोणत्यातरी गावी गेलेली असताना तिथे एक लहान मुलगी बुरखा घालण्यासाठी रडत होती यावर आम्ही एकदा बोललो होतो. 

तिच्या आई वडीलांना हिजाब किंवा बुरख्याची प्रथा अतिशय बुरसटलेली वाटायची. तिला इतरही काही बंधने नसत जी मुस्लिम मुलींना पाळावी लागत. ती बाकिच्या मुलींसारखीच शाळेत गणवेश घालून यायची. आमच्यासारखीच ती इतर मुलांबरोबर बोलायची. ईदला आम्ही सर्व तिच्या घरी जायचो. 

अशीच माझ्या कॅालेज मधील एक मैत्रीण रोज बुरखा घालून यायची. तिच्या घरचे उच्चशिक्षित नसले तरी त्यांच्या मुलींनी शिक्षण घ्यावं असं त्यांच ठाम मत होतं. 

मी शाळेत असताना माझ्याबरोबरची अनेक मूली, मुले गळ्यात गंडे, दोरे, हातात कडं, रूद्राक्ष,  कपाळावर विभूती, गंध, अष्टगंध, वाढदिवस असेल तर नाम, नुकतीच राखी पौर्णिमा होऊन गेली असेल तर राख्या, फ्रेंडशिप बॅन्ड, देवाच्या अंगठ्या, सोन्याच्या अंगठ्या असं सगळ घालून यायचे. 

शाळेचा गणवेश अव्यवस्थित असेल तर शिक्षक ओरडायचे पण गणवेशाव्यतिरिक्त असलेल्या गोष्टींचा त्याना फारसा फरक पडायचा नाही. कारण ते स्वतः सुद्धा अशा तत्सम गोष्टी घालून शाळेत यायचे. 

बालवयात आपण बऱ्याच गोष्टी शिकत असतो. 

एखादा गंडा घातला कि सगळं नीट होईल. गंध लावून परिक्षेला गेलो कि पेपर चांगला जातो अशा काही भाबड्या कल्पना आपले पालक सुद्धा आपल्या डोक्यात भरवत असतात. 

जेव्हा हिजाब, टर्बन या गोष्टी शाळेतून हद्दपार करण्याच्या गोष्टी सुरू आहेत तेव्हा इतर धर्म सुद्धा या अतिरिक्त गोष्टींशिवाय आपल्या मूलांना शाळेत पाठवायला तयार आहेत का? आणि नसतील तर मग काय फक्त हिजाब, टर्बनच शालेय शिस्तीच्या मध्ये येतोय का? 

आणि येतोय तर तो इतके वर्ष का येत नव्हता याचा देखील विचार व्हायला हवा. गेल्या काही वर्षात वाढलेली असहिष्णूता पुढच्या किती पिढ्यांच किती नुकसान करणार आहे याचा प्रत्येकाने विचार केला पाहिजे. विविधता जपू अशी प्रार्थना करणारे आपण कुठल्या मार्गावर चालत आहोत याचा देखील विचार केला पाहिजे. 

शाळेत एका वर्गात असताना तो भगवा, मी हिरवा या गोष्टींचा विचारच आम्ही केला नाही. आपापल्या धर्मातील अनेक वेगवेगळ्या प्रथांबद्दल चर्चा करत असू. पण एखाद्याच्या घरी कुठला देव मानला जातो यावरून त्याला ठराविक श्रेणीत टाकणे या गोष्टी क्वचितच होत असत. आणि कोणी असे करत असेल तर त्या गोष्टीला शिक्षक विरोध करायचे जेणेकरून या गोष्टी मुळातच ठेचल्या जातील. 

आजच्या घडीला शाळेचे शिक्षक, हेडमास्तर गेटवर मुलींना, शिक्षिकांना बुरखा काढून यायला सांगतानाचे दृश्य आपल्यातला सामाजिक दुरावा दर्शवते. 

एकिकडे काही वर्षापूर्वीच शाळेत ओम, आणि तत्सम धर्मवाचक उद्गारांची सर्व मुलांवर सक्ती करण्याच्या बातमीची दखल भारतात नव्हे कर बाहेरच्या देशांनी घेतली होती. 

म्हणजे ही सक्ती शाळेत चालते पण एका व्यक्तीने बुरखा घातला तर शाळेची शिस्त भंग होते. 

हा विषय तसा बऱ्याच प्रमाणात चर्चिला जातोय. कोर्ट कचेऱ्या होतायत. पण या गोष्टीचा सर्वाधिक परिणाम त्या विद्यार्थ्यांवर होतोय जे गेटच्या बाहेर उभे आहेत. आधीच धर्म हा संवेदनशील विषय आहे. जेव्हा धर्म आणि इतर गोष्टी अशा प्रकारे समोर येत असताना त्यांच्या मनावर याचा काय परिणाम होईल ह्याची जबाबदारी कोणाची आहे? 

The queue

Why do we make a queue for something? Only when that thing we are waiting for is worth the wait… 

We were quite unaware about the dynamics of Kakathiya deluxe mess when we followed YouTube recommendations and went along. 

At first we couldn’t really find the place but as we went through a crowded alleyway we could see the familiar sign of this mess. 

As we went towards the entrance we saw at least 50 people standing in line on staircase of the place. 

We were quite disappointed as it was past our lunch time and we were so hungry. 

Well the queue moved quickly and we were near entry door within few minutes. 

After waiting for some time at the door we were rushed inside towards a small hall full of people eating and enjoying their food. 

The plates used were made up of leaf , the sambar pots were kept on the tables along with servers serving steaming hot rice to each table. 

We waited for few more minutes until people finished their food and we could get a table for 4. 

As we sat down our table was cleaned and fresh leaf plates were kept for 4 with chilled curd bowls, sweets already served. 

I could see bigger bowls of podi chutney,tamarind thokku , eggplant thokku and pickle kept on our table. The most important side dish was a melted ghee bowl. 

As the service started we were served a heaped portion of steaming hot rice along with tomato Pappu, a dry vegetable and a root vegetable curry. 

A crunchy papad is served along with all these. 

As seen in many videos before I served myself a spoonful of podi and drizzled melted ghee on my steaming hot rice. 

As I made myself first morsel of ghee rice and podi I was blown away with the perfect balance of spicy and flavourful podi, perfect rice and wonderful fatty ghee. I knew I was in for the treat. 

As I tasted every single thing served on the plate I knew everything was prepared with utmost perfection, each dish was a burst of flavour accompaniment to the fluffy rice. 

I checked the chilled bowl of curd and observed that the curd was set in the bowl itself. It was so thick and creamy as if made of creamy milk. 

People besides us were having their lunch in hurry as they were hungry and the servers were making sure they are quick in serving an empty plate as soon as they see it. 

My husband was also having his lunch occasionally giving comments about taste and freshness of the food. 

I was almost full as I finished everything on my plate and now it was desert time. 

I took the first bite of rice cooked in thick jaggery , ghee and milk along with spices an aftertaste of camphor like smell hit. It reminded me of having a Prasad of temple. 

I still had that creamy bowl of curd which I thoroughly enjoyed with just the amazing taste of chilled heaven. 

As we were wrapping up more people were standing behind us to take our place and then we had to leave. 

I couldn’t help myself but pay my regards to the person serving us because the food was so tasty. Although he didn’t seem to be much bothered by it. 

We finished our lunch and were moved out of the small place from back door which gave us a small glimpse of spotless kitchen behind and we knew it was an experience worthy of all the effort that went into it. 

So of course the certificate of genuineness is the queue itself where we believe comrades before us to surrender to the experience. Sometimes we may be disappointed but most times we will be blown away. 

To a memorable lunch once an afternoon at Hyderabad! 

Sri Kakathiya deluxe mess!

Sri Kakatiya Deluxe Mess

098850 66252

https://goo.gl/maps/dK3ZnthLfEo2RqY48

1st Delta Chambers Shop No. 1&, 2, Mumbai Hwy, Ameerpet, Hyderabad, Telangana 500016

Gender fluidity and India

 I have been listening, watching a lot of talks around gender fluidity and I feel it's time to pen or blog it down.

So the strange thing I came across when I was graduating in year 2014 and I read a news in newspaper, a female athlete pretended to be a female while it was a male all along.

She is now banned from further participation in sports.

For me it was plain and straight thing to believe that it was such a fraud, she must have just faked it by being a little bit feminine. And I forgot about it. 

Few years later I came across a podcast by Radiolab where I got the name and whole background of the athelete in question. The athelete in question here is an Indian athelete who was Dutee Chand from Odisha.

She was banned based on a test done to confirm the gender of the athletes to avoid cross participation of atheletes among men and woman.

The test however was not a regressive practice of making woman show their private parts to doctors which was a practice during cold war to make sure female team is all female and no fraud, it wasn't even a chromosomes test where your DNA is tested for which chromosomes you have but a testosterone level test. 

A test which determines your supposedly gender based on your testosterone levels.

Being from a Indian village these accusations were confusing to Chand while she herself was raised by her parents to be a woman. 

This further story should be a national news but unfortunately my country thinks only the stuff involving money and religion are worth sharing for. 

Well Chand went to atheletes court and fought this case on basis that the test which determines these things are not accurate and one can not ban her for having higher testosterone levels. The court gave the decision against the ban and lifted the ban from her with a suggestion to federation which banned her to take a look at the methods used for determining gender. 

Why I say it's an important news? 

Because of so many things, one being my controversial opinion that why should there be two different sports category, can a woman not be better than a man at sports? 

Well study suggests there is a significant amount of difference between how a man performs and how a woman perform and that is why these two were differentiated. 

But then what about a world where we are having Transgender, Agender, Bigender would these binary norms survive? 

Will we have a gender neutral point where all our skills will be tested based on our abilities and not capped by these norms? 

Sometimes when I see around and find couples who still have this idea of who their kid is going to be or what kind of things they should do based on their cisgender. I feel the need to provide my point. Yet I am aware of the consequences that my factual points might be insulting or offensive to them. 

When I still see parents providing toys, books, songs based on this one thing which actually vilifies the different options the kids may want to try. 

In a country where same sex couples were illigal and same sex marriage is still considered illigal I wish I could express my opinion to not to put these kids in certain boxes limiting their life experiences.

A country which always had this stigma around gender other than binary genders is on verge of bringing another big change which may one day make same sex marriage legal. 

My generation was aware of the crimes, hate and disgust for this concept and also participated in it. There is a new change on horizon which is going to bring down this entire Charade of pretentious gender norms.

I argue a lot about these male vs female issues with people who are close to me or who are rather interested in listening my view point. I feel gender fluidity is on the verge of being born as a modern world's most beautiful thing.

A world where a person is not limited to certain jobs, roles, place to live or even value for their efforts. 

A world where value is assigned to skill and knowledge and not to the appearances..

A world where everyone has right to love, marry and have kids with whoever they want to. 

Dutee Chand represents that world where she has a place because of her training and skills and one can not ban her simply because she has natural chemical levels higher in her based on decided limits of unproven methods. 

Dutee who then explored her own sexuality and came out as first ever openly lesbian athelete is the epitome of this years of struggle in our country of people who had to keep the fight up to give name to their story.

This should be a news which should reach every person who is in this country so it can be aspiring to everyone to be loving, caring and supporting in a world which denies the basic rights to us.

To Dutee Chand from Odisha...

References: 

https://www.wnycstudios.org/podcasts/radiolab/articles/dutee

कोकणचा पाऊस

कोकणातला आंबा, फणस आणि माणूस जितका लोकप्रिय आहे तितकाच इथला पाऊसही आहे बरं का...

माझी या पावसाबरोबर ची ओळख म्हणजे अगदी लहानपणीची. माझ्या चिपळूणच्या आजोळच्या घरी पडवी मधुन दिसणारा धो धो कोसळणारा पाऊस म्हणजे माझी आवडती आठवण. इतका पाऊस येऊन तो आपल्या कौलारू घराच्या आत कसा बरं येत नाही असा विचार माझ्या मनात किती वेळा डोकावत असे. 

बरं ही आठवण अगदी ठराविक वेळेची कारण आमचं आजोळी जाणं हे उन्हाळ्यातच. तेव्हा सगळीकडे रखरखीत ऊन आणि उन्हाने भाजून पिवळट केशरी झालेली भाताची शेती दिसायची. 

दुपारी १२ च्या सुमारास चिपळूण स्थानकावरून निघालेली बस १-१.३० वाजता आमच्या गावाच्या वेशीवर थांबायची आणि तिथून १-२ किलोमीटर चा चालण्याचा प्रवास नकोसा वाटत असे.   

इतका कोरडा प्रदेश २-३ दिवसाच्या पावसाने हिरवागार कसा होत असेल बरं हे कोड कधी माझ्या लहानग्या डोक्याला सुटतच नसे. 

तिथल्या धो धो पावसाने व्हाळ भरून वाहायला लागल्यावर त्यातलं पाणी काचेसारख दिसायच आणि त्यातले लहान मासे पाय बुडवले की पायाला गुदगुल्या करत ते साफ करायचे. अलीकडे मॉल मध्ये किती तरी पैसे देऊन हेच सुख अनुभवायचा अतोनात प्रयत्न अनेक लोक करत असतात पण त्या हिरवळीतला तो अनुभव दुर्मिळच.

व्हाळातल्या कपारीत लपलेल्या कूर्ल्या म्हणजेच खेकडे पकडायला सावध नजर आणि कौशल्यच हवे. हे तिथल्या स्थानिक लोकांनी वर्षानुवर्षे अवगत केले आहे. कुर्ली पकडायला जाणे हा तिथला एक adventure sport च म्हणा ना. 

बरं व्हाळातले पाणी प्यायला वापरत का नाहीत याचं उत्तर माझ्या सारख्या घाटावरच्या मुलीला इथे राहायला लागल्यावरच कळाले. 

सिंधुदुर्गातला पाउस तर अजून विलक्षण. कधी दिवस-दिवस भर आभाळ भरून गरजणारा तर कधी हलका हलका ऊन पावसातला. 

पाऊस पडून गेला की आजूबाजूचे रस्ते हिरवेगार करणारा आणि विहिरी पाण्याने तुडुंब भरून टाकणारा.

याच पावसानंतर किती तरी विलक्षण किडे पुन्हा एकदा वार्षिक जन्म घेतात. त्यांचं आयुष्य किती फार तर फार एक दोन दिवसांच पण तरीही इकडे तिकडे उडून, दिव्याभोवती घोटाळून ते आपल्या जीवाची मुंबई करतात असं म्हणायला हरकत नाही. 

रात्रीच्या प्रवासात याच हिरवळीत लुकलुकणारे काजवे तर आकाशातल्या चांदण्यांनाही लाजवतील. 

आपला वेगळाच आवाज करून लहान मोठे बेडूक आपल्या प्रेयसीला आकर्षित करण्याचा प्रयत्न करत असतात. 

कधी कधी एक वेगळाच पाऊस पडत असतो जो न आवाज करता फक्त वाळू हातातून निसटत असल्यासारखा भुरभुरत राहतो. त्याच्या शांततेत लक्ष झाडे वाऱ्यावर डुलत शांतपणे आपली कामे करीत राहतात.

ह्याच सुरुवातीच्या पावसाने एकदा का आपापली जमीन ओलावली की नांगरणी आणि पेरणी केली जाते. त्यातून उगवलेला तरवा म्हणजे तांदळाच्या रोपांच्या पेंड्या बांधल्या जातात. नंतर च्या सातत्याने पडणाऱ्या पावसाने कोपरे भरले की मग भात लावणीची तयारी करायला बाया माणसे सरसावतात. 

कधी कधी दुपारच्या उन्हाने कोमट झालेल्या चिखलात गुडघाभर पाण्यात एक एक भाताची काडी लावून झाल्यावर त्या रांगेला बघून एखाद्यानं फुटपट्टीने मोजून लावणी केली आहे की काय असे वाटेल. 

भर पावसातही आपली इरली, घोंगडी, काठी घेऊन लोक आपलं काम करत असतात. इतकी काटक की हा पाऊस त्यांना थंडी-तापाची आठवणही होऊ देत नाही. 

उन्हाळ्यात रुक्ष अशा या जमिनी पावसाळ्यात एखादा तलाव असावा तशा भरून जातात. गेल्या वर्षात इकडे तिकडे पडलेल्या प्रत्येक बी-बियाण्याला जगवतात. जंगलात ही उन्हाळ्यात लपून राहिलेल्या अळंब्या हळू हळू डोकावू लागतात आणि त्या शोधायला जाण्याची मोहीम ही सुरू होते. पावसाळ्यात पहिल्या वाफेच्या भाताबरोबर वाटप घातलेलं हे अळंबीच कालवण म्हणजे स्वर्गसुख. 

या पावसाने घराभोवती येणारे रान म्हणजे गवती सापासारख्या अनाहुत पाहुण्यांना निमंत्रण म्हणून दर वर्षी रान नडणे म्हणजे जमीन साफ करण्याचा कार्यक्रम निश्चित. 

ते चिवट रान पाऊस येईल तसे पुन्हा पुन्हा येत राहते, पण त्याला सफाचट करणारी माणसे देखील तितकीच चिकाटीची. 

कोकण आणि कोकणच्या पावसाने इथल्या माणसांना अगदी हवं ते आणि गरजे इतकं वैभव दिलं आहे. इथली संस्कृती ह्याच पावसाने समृद्ध होत आली आहे. उन्हाळ्यात लाही लाही झाल्यानंतर याच पावसाची सुखद लहर ४-५ महिने तरी जीवाला थंडावा देते. कठीण समय संपल्यानंतर येणाऱ्या समृद्धीची ग्वाही देते. 

पावसाच्या प्रेमात तर मी आधी सुद्धा होते पण शहरी भागातल्या पावसापेक्षा एक वेगळाच अनुभव देणारा कोकणचा पाऊस मात्र वेगळीच अनुभूती देऊन जातो. 

Leader of the free world

 When I started following US politics or world politics for that matter, I heard from many people who said why don't you look at your own country first. 

But I guess I was put off by the way our political parties worked, the supporters or the volunteers I was witnessing in my own country. 

As I could see many of them blinded by the mere carisma of a leader and blindly followed them into any policy, defend any reckless decisions of them in the names of brilliant foreseeable future. I stand by my side to freely say that I do follow world or American politics because I feel there is something to look up to.

The first and foremost democracy teaches us even when it's in the low, allowing us to have an opportunity to learn from their mistakes.

While my country still struggle to get over cast differences I look up to a country which no matter the opposition gives fair chance to anyone who is capable.

As I see woman claiming the places they always meant to have and it gives me hope that one day we can reach there. 

As I see a country torn apart and then united somehow to hold its utmost values. 

I saw 4 years of pain and suffering of immigrants, people of color, environmental laws being wrecked and an absolute nonsensical behaviour from a person who called himself leader of the free world. I was naive back then to think that he did not deserve that seat, now when I think about it.

I feel he did deserve it. He was there so people could know what being a xenophobic, recist and maniac can do to a beautiful country with million opportunities.

The corona came as a surprise to everyone and it was an absolute misfortune to have to deal with that on top of already sinking ship. 

I have seen last 4 years of American democracy through various angles. Right from innocent people trapped in the prison due to his policies till the water contamination laws being thrown out of the window to support the industries, from people of color being killed out in the open till the children being kept in the cages away from their parents for no mistake of their own.

I feel hopeful and optimistic about the future and I don't mean just the future of our country which is currently in ruins but I feel that we as mankind can lead a better way even through the darkest of hours. 

I see so many farmers protesting in the streets for the laws, people making noise for the release of activists, comedians and journalist, people who are courageous enough to call out the leader. I know we can win against the cruelty, lies, inhumane values and racist beliefs. 

The future belongs to the truth...

#Electionnight2

 Wow, what a wonderful day. 

Fourth day of the supercharged US elections.

I read a blog I wrote 4 years ago, disgusted by Trump winning the white House and being saddened by the reality of it. 

And today will be the day he will be voted out by the people of US democracy who made the choice of not having a person like him as their president anymore.

So many things have changed in the world in last 4 years, world witnessed a pandemic of our decade maybe, US lost many lives to the virus, people were thrown into prisons and children were separated from their parents, his reckless decisions brought out movements to end so many wrong things in our society. 

I was a college student back then and now I am married with much more political opinion than before. Now what happens in my country is also equally important and terrifying to me. My opinions are expressed whenever required and I do feel saddened by injustice in my own country. 

While he called climate change a hoax, the earth withered away some more, leading to massive floods, landslides, wild fires and draughts. His stupidity did not matter to earth as the very thing he was saying caused millions around him and around the world make their mind to not to believe in the climate change. 

While he called out the white supremacy his greatest ally thousands suffered from hate and bigotry by those who wanted to feel greater than others. 

But today when people reject him and decide to choose someone else their president who is sane and normal rather than a fake , bigot clown world seems like a normal place now. It gives us energy to fight what is wrong in the world and reminds us that we choose our leaders and democracy always will survive as long as there is truth in the world. 

I saw a beautiful black indian origin woman climbing the ladder and breaking that glass ceiling that a woman can be the second most important lady in the country and she is equally capable of doing so. 

This election was memorable on many fronts and it was to remind us that tyranny and falsehood lasts in this world for such a small time while truth eventually exceeds and kindness wins. 

En route to Veganism!

 I read and watched so many articles,documentaries till the date of veganism. I was getting a good view of the reality yet the environment I was living in did not have supporting conditions for me to get vegan, neither did I have any motive to go vegan. 

But one day my husband suddenly decided that we should go vegan for all the issues that are involving animal cruelty and environmental impact. 

I did want to do this to help my health as well, I was a total cheesoholic my entire life even when I knew each bite I would take was contributing to building cough into my system. I couldn't give up my cravings even when I knew it was hurting me. 

Anyways I never really liked or fare better with milk but recently I had tried these experiments with having turmeric and milk to make it more appealing. 

We finished whatever we could from our remaining pantry and started experimenting with tea without milk. Eventually after some days we found the formula which works for us and we are still in love with this. 

It's difficult to stay away from sweets, prasad, biscuits and chocolates but since we don't really have social gatherings we rarely have these occasions where we have to tell them specifically about our eating habits. 

My in laws have been supportive so far and kind of understand our compassion while my family tried their level best to make me eat fish or meat again. 

I tried to explain them but it felt needless to explain my food choices for the rest of my life. I kind of had this weird feeling where they might force me back to the previous lifestyle maybe in later stages of my life where they feel eating this helps us have a better health. 

For now I am getting used to this because first and foremost it helps my cough situation. I have not had direct dairy intentionally in last one month and it takes away the guilt associated with it. 

The very next day when we were getting ready to go out somewhere and a calf (yes, it's pretty common here since they like the shade and coolness of parking so they sometimes come and stay here in the parking lot) stood next to me in the door and by seeing their sweet watery eyes I felt so good that I will no longer be a cruel person who takes away their food. 

I have seen this horrible practices of keeping a stuffed calf in front of the cow to make her give milk. I was scared for some time as it looked almost ghostly in the darkness and later I learnt that it's actually dead. 

I don't understand how could I be so blind to all this happening around me and still have dairy. How come I never learnt the fact that no animal can produce milk without giving birth? Why didn't I get agitated at the fact that I actually saw someone skinning a goat and still had dinner that night. 

I have been ignorant and absolutely blind to all the signals of this cruelty going around and it took me these many years to finally come face to face with this truth that I have been part of this whole intricate trap of justifying all this in the name of taste and proteins and health. 

While the only naked truth was that we were trained in this system where we find a milk and dairy meant for a calf absolutely normal. We rather promote it in the name of good health. 

I struggle to keep my cravings at a bay but we are still going strong. 

It's been almost 3 months and we do not feel like going back yet! 

This road has been bumpy but it does have its own perks like feeling absolutely fantastic about not being part of animal cruelty, not being ignorant donkey and obviously providing more attention to what we eat!