A Happy New Year...

Finally year came to an end. The seasons of beginning everything new and again is upcoming. On every new year I have different feelings about the year passed by and the year about to begin. But it seems to be felt on first day only, but this is even true that new year’s first day has a new crispy flavor like a new book which we can experience only on new years first day… :D

On the New Year eve of 2012 me and my sister had an awesome experience of the new year. We were awake till 12 am of 1 January 2013; I was logged on face book, checking some comments and status for a new year. We had clock and calendar on our desktop and we watched it changed from 31-12-2012 to 1-1-2013. And suddenly that year transformation felt real, As if we went through something invisible which made us 1 year grown up.

Well while looking back at the 2013 it does seem an amazing year. My graduation year.  I will be an graduate soon, having so much plans for upcoming year along with many preparations. Hoping this year will turn out amazing as before…There are many challenges approaching in the form of exams, interviews and even other unknown forms. Gotta be ready for them. J

a happy new year on pre new years eve…J

Your favorite Quote...

 Well there are many quotes I like but some of my favorites are,

“Worry is like a rocking chair, it will give you something to do, but will not take you anywhere…”

“Don’t think about the future obstacles, you never know they might not come”

“The price of success is hard work, dedication to the job at hand, and the determination that whether we win or lose, we have applied the best of ourselves to the task.” - Vince Lombardi, American football coach

Well the first one. About worry! I found it in a daily quote book. And it stuck into my head since then. I realized how much time do we really waste on worrying about many things. Worries about future, worries about exams, then results, our mistakes and their effects… I felt so relieved after finding that we can simply move on by keeping past behind and stop worrying about future. And I simply understood that the worry will not take us anywhere. It’s a kind of phase where you started doubting yourself which ultimately leads to negative thoughts and a simple worry becomes a disaster, so from then whenever I started feeling low on my confidence I remember this quote and said to myself I should not waste time doing nothing, instead I should use the time to do something solid which can give me good results in future.

The second one is kind of the same; I do tell this to my friend too if they are in any confusion. And it’s kind of true even …

The next one I felt so appropriate for a lesson I learn in last few years. I truly realized that if you have worked properly and did everything needed in order to achieve what you wanted there is nothing to stop you from getting to your goal. It really helps you to overcome the obstacles you have in your path if you have given your best. And after then even you fail or did not satisfied expectations then understand that something was missing in preparation. This helps us to overcome the disappointments and we can start a new beginning for the next battle.

Well, a quote helps us to be realistic, everyone has some beliefs and they help us to bring the best out of us. These are some of my favorites; hope you would like them too…:)

Because 'YOU are MY daughter'

     There are mostly two types of relationships, once you get when u born and once you develop through your life. The first type you might not be able to change like father,mother and your siblings and also some of grandparents. You got to accept them as they are. My mother is a wonderful women I would say, she is caring, loving in every way a mother is supposed to be. She is always praising me in front of her friends, our family. But also she is short tempered and sometimes a little overreacting. We never really have much of  a conversation but we do have fun when me and my sister, when we are just talking something funny. Our mother makes most of the jokes and we laugh for a long time.

There is an incidence which I would always remember with her, once I was going somewhere with her. While crossing the road in bazzar she took my hand and told me to watch out for vehicles, I laughed myself, and told her I cross even the bigger traffic roads in my every day journey to college. Why are you being so worried about this little one. Then the answer she gave me made me somehow emotional.

She said "yeah you might have been. But now you are in front of my eyes, I should care about you. You wont understand this until you will become  a mother. My mother also used to worry about my sisters.We used to ask her the same question that whats the matter to worry about she will be home safely. And then she told her that you wont understand this until you will become a mother,and it goes on..."

When I returned home I wrote this in my diary. I felt whenever in future i will  be a mother i might tell the same thing to my children's and this might goes on :) like a chain of affection. Bonding us all in a secret bond of unconditional love and care of mothers.

I don't know will I be ever able to thank her in front of her, for caring about me, for taking me to doctor whenever i will be sick, for praising about my small things and helping me invisibly to gain self-confidence and also increasing my responsibilities,for doing everything to help me.Sometimes you can not dare to speak somethings out loud, you feel like you might not be able to put them correctly. Like they are so fragile,delicate.

So I thought I can thank her here. I love you mom, and i will always. For giving me a chance to become your daughter, and to be the part of world. I wish I would have the same mom for my next millions of births. Because I am so glad that I am Your daughter...

MAYBE SOMEONE IS THERE…

         Is it really simple to believe in god instead of searching for its existence? Till now in my life, I have never been really into prayers and all. Sometimes I feel asking for god’s help will only increase my difficulties. I truly believe if someone is just spending time in reading spiritual books and prayers, he is just wasting his time. Even my mother. She was not at all spiritual at all initially, but in following some years she became so obsessed with all these pothi, and aartis’s. she spent most of her time in her prayers. She talks about these things even intensively. Sometimes it bothers me when she watches my result and says it’s the fruit of her spiritual enlightenment with her guru or monk. I don’t break her trust and accept whatever she says with a forced smile. I can not really accept the thing that how come my overnight studies and efforts for gaining marks are due to a monk I don’t even know very well.

          But maybe god does not want me to stay away from with him. J  I really accept that whenever I am scared to the hell I started reciting some shloka’s I learnt when I was a child. When something happens to me like when I lost something precious of mine, or some problem is there. I don’t know why do I do it. But it works every time (well most of the time J) it gives me some time to think and I get something to tackle the problem. I feel a little jealous when I watch some spiritual people depending enthusiastically upon god, and watching them dedicatedly telling a piece of sculpture their problems. I think they might get some support from their trust and belief. I wish I could be like them but I know I cannot accept the existence of god without truly experiencing it. I feel guilty even for thinking about I am selfish and wish that god will make everything good to me.

I wish I would be ever able to trust god unconditionally, I wish I could give my credit to him just like my mother do, so I will be always having someone to believe in always.

The first time I felt how can be being spiritual change your life, the day I read eat, pray , love. There was an paragraph where liz aka Elizabeth Gilbert devotes her gurugeeta to her sister’s son was amazing. I really wished that day I could be able to be such devoting to something. Spending time in a cave and doing your meditation would be quite awesome. Well still I have so much life to live. And I wish to (anyone out there listening to my prayers J) that I will get a chance to be a little spiritual in my life. And I would be able finally find out how it feels being satisfied by devotion…