Nothing gold can stay

Nature's first green is gold, 
Her hardest hue to hold. 
Her early leafs a flower; 
But only so an hour. 
Then leaf subsides to leaf. 
So Eden sank to grief, 
So dawn goes down to day. 
Nothing gold can stay.

The first time I read this poem, it was in a book. "The outsiders" 
And when ponyboy recites this, the scene seems something magical, I reread it. again and again. but sometimes you know, this happens as we keep reading a line again and again but yet our mind seems not comprehending anything. I was always good at writing meanings of poems when I was back in school but this... It had something deep within to interpret it and understand it.  
Few days ago, on Saturday 23 I was lying in my hall, reading a book and enjoying my start of 4 days long holiday due to consecutive  week ends and national holiday, when I had a message from my father to leave as early as possible as my grandmother was serious. It took me a minute to absorb what was happening. I felt as if someone had punched in my stomach. I wanted to cry out loud but I didnt know why. And after a while I got that this was it. My deepest and scariest night mare had came true. The message was followed by a call from my neighbor telling me that I should leave as early as possible because Grandma was really serious. But somehow I knew I was never gonna see her again . Dead or Alive.
I packed somethings enough and started my journey to my home where they were already in preparation for cremating her. At first I told my father to wait till I get there, but then I found that it was just an emotional urge, and they couldnt possibly wait till 12 to 12.30 am till I get back to my hometown. 
What I first noticed when our bus started its journey that It was a full moon night, and all the way till I reached  home the full moon was in sky. Not for a minute I lost its sight. 
I remembered all the laughs and moments I had spent with her. a poem I wrote for her when I was in 11th, and I had my first realization that she might not be with me for life time. and how her being there had affected me in every single thing of my life. 
The first time she ever surprised me when she said that "We all are born differently, and we only have these bonds of blood to depict that  I am someones daughter and someones son, one should never grieve for death, as it is as natural as and which has no control of human beings" 
Even after that I didn't want to believe this at the moment, I cried all the way from pune till my hometown, and when I was finally there. There was no body sitting on the couch or in chair or just waiting for me even thought I come late at night. 
There was just a small lamp burning where she used to sit, and my mother gingerly took me in her arms, her eyes swollen due to crying. and Then I felt, it wasnt a nightmare after all. She had actually left me, left us. I couldnt cry, couldnt cry anymore, I felt as if tears wont come out, even if I tried. We stayed awake that night, for long, remembering her, talking about her. The next day people came to meet and asked what happened, and my mother told them. each one of them, the same thing.
"she just went in her sleep. We didnt even got when she passed away, She went without making trouble to herself or to others"
 I wondered why this doesnt seem hectic to say the same thing 100's of times, but the answer was always there. It was good, talking about her. feeling that she was in our memories and she will be always. On the third day, me and my cousin went for the further funeral where the ashes are collected, and I felt myself crying to the fact that, how can only our bones and ash remains at the end. Is that all? One day I might be there, but isnt all the things she taught me, which I learn from her matters. We weeped silent tears while returning when I remembered how we would laugh with her, how many things of her had contributed to me being whatever I am today.  
When we returned home, it just felt as if she has went out to bring flowers or just at my aunts at mumbai or just out somewhere. I just felt as if at any moment she would walk slowly through door, but that would never happen now. 
When my friend asked me "Am I alright?" I had only one answer to say that I am all fine. and thousands of things to tell. 

My grandmother was a huge part of my life always. I always respected her ways to look at all things clearly, to give everyone a fair chance. To give opportunities to everyone who had been wrong, To love everyone in her family silently without claiming it. She loved travel even in her 85th year. She nurtured her 9 siblings and all our family just the same. She didnt just read the philosophical books, but she understood its actual meaning. She taught me to not to just pray but the peace it gives us. 
My mother used to say that it will be really difficult for me to handle her death, but it wasnt difficult, it was  impossible to agitate that she was no longer around. but somehow I knew that she will be always with us. with me.  in one form or the other. 

And the morning when I returned home, and I watched sun rise, painting the whole sky to golden first. and I knew the meaning of Robert Frost's poem above.

Our child hood is the best part of life, the first green when we are new to everything around us. Its the golden time. the best of the times. Thats important and hard too, because it is something which needs to be happen. Life needs to take place.
Our young age is the fruit of the persons life, But it lasts only for a short time. 
Then we grow and watch the others around us being in a young age, and we feel as if we are being old. The energy starts transferring from one to other,
We became sad for this part, but The old age brings out the new ones to play the part we played few years ago. Dawn goes down to day.
No matter how bright and amazing person you were, ultimately everyone will face a fall. And so nothing golden can stay. 

I felt it more intense that, because when the best person leaves us, their absence reminds us of how much we miss them. How good it was to have them with us. 
and I told my friend that "Nothing golden can stay, but that not staying matters. because it gives inspiration for something more bright and best. Its good that I never got to meet her when she was not anymore a person I saw for 21 years. I remember her laughing a toothless smile, walking slowly by taking walls side. reading book by keeping it so close to her face until it touched her nose,   praying in front of gods.  I dont remember her Dead or not alive.Its like she just disappeared into clouds. Clouds slashed with moon lit starry sky, Clouds drenched in golden sunlight.
 She was always golden to me, and always will. "

To Loving Memory of Granny. 
Miss you a lot. 



Yours always,
Gundi. 

OMG! the future is finally here... B-O

Who has watched the film, Wall E? well many of you might have. so there was this nice futuristic vision of world set where people were choosing the food they want to eat from the mobile devices they had in their hands. right?
few days ago i downloaded an app for Fasso's and there were many food items onlines displayed, and also status of my order as now the orders placed and now its cooking and when it was finally delivered. I found this so much similar with the way people in Wall E were interacting with the things. Isnt this is the same way we are dealing with shopping or food now a days?
We see things in advertisements, and search for them online, we place an order for them and they get delivered at our door steps. Ha... Isnt that is the same way as our future was predicted few years back :D
and now the next big thing is Internet of things where our devices will be controlling themselves and contacting among themselves. and it will be just as robots operating among us. well it seems like we are going into the future more fast than we might had predicted, isnt it? :D

so heres to the our next future when we might get things delivered on platter once you wish for them. :D
OMG! the future is already here...

To Natsamrat…

कुणी घर देता का घर... या तुफानाला कोणी घर देता का...

The first time I ever read this dialogue I thought the sarkar word was actually to address the government. But when I saw the play in terms of movie on screen I found out what that was really about. And I really really regretted not being born into the era of such extraordinary piece of art which shakes you from bottom.

I could have never guess how much emotion and pain it involves to be a actor, an extraordinary actor that you forgot to live. I can still hear the dialogues which nana patekar delivered that you feel as if you want to understand each and every word of it.  You want it to repeat till you understand, till you soak it as a sponge soaking water.

The great piece of art, the great piece of literature, the great play…  after a while I started to feel where does these people get this inspiration , the passion that their creation are used to measure all the other creations. In our era of loud and show bizz, have we really lost the touch of innocence and ability to think beyond limits. People have spent nights and nights on creating them, and what do we celebrate today?

The one line of “ I really like you” said by ganpat to his wife at the last of their life together, seems thousand and thousand times real and romantic than a proposals in thousand movies with red roses and violins on background.  But even then, we will watch the movie and forget about it after a little while.  Perhaps back then people didn’t had glossy theaters or tech to create the high definition films but they had so much more creativity I think. If one glimpse in that era can make us this surprised  I cant even imagine what they must have felt when the third bell rang and the curtains opened, which led them to an another world. as the protagonist in today’s film says this theater has ability to create entire world within it.

Again a wonderful effort to let us have a look at our treasure of Marathi literature.  To Natsamrat…

The outsiders.

Its also one of the book I found out while reading another novel, and searched frantically for it until I found its ebook.

Well the book is about teen age boy and his struggle through the socio economic class partition led to them by the society.

I am giving here the plot as explained on the Wikipedia site since it will be neat and explains better summery.

Ponyboy Curtis, a member of a gang called the “Greasers”, is leaving a movie theater when groups of “Socs” (short for "Socials), the Greasers’ rival gang, jump him. His two older brothers—Darry and Sodapop—and several members of their gang rescue him. The next night, Ponyboy and his Greaser friends Dallas and Johnny meet Socs, Cherry Valance and Marcia, at a drive-in movie theatre. Ponyboy realizes that Cherry is nothing like the Socs he has met before.

Afterward, Two-Bit Matthews, another gang member, Ponyboy, and Johnny walk Cherry and Marcia home. Socs Bob Sheldon and Randy Adderson see them and think the boys are trying to pick up their girlfriends. Cherry prevents a fight and the girls leave with Bob and Randy willingly. When Ponyboy comes home at two in the morning, Darry becomes angry and in a fit of rage starts to yell at both Soda and Pony. Ponyboy runs away after Darry strikes him, and meets up with Johnny to run away. Ponyboy calms down and wonders if running away would be a good idea.

The boys wander into a park in the neighborhood. Bob, Randy, and three other Socs confront them. After exchanges of derogatory remarks, Ponyboy spits at them. The Socs attempt to drown Ponyboy in a fountain. Johnny, anxious and terrified, stabs Bob, accidentally causing his death. Ponyboy and Johnny, frightened and unaware of what to do because both know those who murder in Oklahoma will be executed on the electric chair, seek Dally’s help. Dally gives them money and a loaded gun and tells them to hide in an abandoned church in Windrixville. During their stay, Pony cuts and dyes his hair as a disguise and reads Gone with the Wind to Johnny. He also recites the poem "Nothing Gold Can Stay" by Robert Frost.

Dally comes to check on them, he reveals that the tensions between the Greasers and Socs have increased since Bob's death. Johnny decides to turn himself in and Dally agrees to take the boys back home. As they attempt to leave, they notice the church has caught fire and several children are trapped inside. The boys run inside the burning church to save them, but Ponyboy is rendered unconscious by the fumes. At the hospital he discovers that he and Dally are not badly injured, but a piece of the church roof fell on Johnny and broke his back. Sodapop and Darry come to the hospital; Darry breaks down and cries. Ponyboy then realizes that Darry cares about him, and is only hard on Ponyboy because he wants him to have a good future.

The following morning the newspapers declare Pony and Johnny heroes, but Johnny would be charged with manslaughter for Bob’s death. Two-Bit tells them that the consistent rivalry between the adversaries is to be settled in a rumble. Ponyboy and Two-bit run into Randy who tells them he will not participate in the fight.

Later, they visit Johnny at the hospital when he is in critical condition. On their way home, Pony spots Cherry and they talk. Cherry says she is unwilling to visit Johnny in the hospital because he killed her boyfriend. Pony calls her a traitor, but after explaining herself, they come to good terms. After escaping the hospital, Dally shows up just in time for the rumble. The Greasers win the fight. Afterward, Pony and Dally hurry back to see Johnny. He dies while they’re in the hospital and a maniacal Dally runs out of the room. Pony returns home that night feeling confused and disoriented. Dally calls the house to say that he has robbed a store and is running from the police. The Greasers find him, but see that Dally is pointing an unloaded gun at the police. They shoot Dally and he dies instantly. Ponyboy becomes overwhelmed and faints. He regains consciousness and is sick in bed for several days due to concussion. When the hearing finally approaches, the judge is generous and Pony is free from responsibility for Bob’s death. Pony will be allowed to remain at home with Darry and Soda.

When Ponyboy goes back to school, his grades drop. Although he is failing English, his teacher, Mr. Syme, says he will pass him if he writes a decent theme. In the copy of Gone with the Wind that Johnny gave him before dying, Ponyboy finds a note from Johnny describing how he will die proudly after saving the kids from the fire. Johnny also urges Ponyboy to "stay gold". Ponyboy decides to write his English assignment about the recent events, and begins his essay with the opening line of the novel: "When I stepped out into the bright sunlight from the darkness of the movie house, I had only two things on my mind: Paul Newman and a ride home..

So the story went like this. I was already aware of the quote “stay gold pony…” so I was kind of looking for that line till I reached it and also found a plot exploitation which was with the novel I had read.

I did cried at few parts when pony finds out that his older brother actually cares for him. I had almost crush on the middle brother who happens to look like movie star, and was a part of gang.

Well mostly the theme went pretty good with book, at some points it did seemed like written by a young person, but at some point it was really tuff.  I felt the crime theme was too easily handled, and how can one just get through with a murder and gang beating as its daily activity. Maybe I am being the secured environment person , it seems like that way. But whether really all the bloody gangsters are that way? The victim of the environment. Probably it is. Well when you don’t know what to idolize you idolize what is in front of you. I like the way even after all Darry still trying to make best of circumstances for ponyboy. Even after reading about scary gangster stuff, you are met with the softness and an urge to get better things. It seems as if even after all the hurt and bad things everyone has a breaking point. If only all the boys who were on the verge could read the outsiders. If only they could stay gold, when there is still good things to see and do.

I was really glad and crying (because it was good book, and I kind of like the books that make me cry), when I finished the book.  And it was added to one more of read book list.

Well two books in 3 days, I might be setting a new record for 2016 after all. :D until the next one, see you all… J

Like water for chocolate

Each of us is born with a box of matches inside us but we can't strike them all by ourselves; just as in the experiment, we need oxygen and a candle to help. In this case, the oxygen for example, would come from the breath of the person you love; the candle could be any kind of

food, music, caress, word, or sound that engenders the explosion that

lights one of the matches. For a moment we are dazzled by an intense

emotion. A pleasant warmth grows within us, fading slowly as time goes

by, until a new explosion comes along to revive it. Each person has to

discover what will set off those explosions in order to live, since the

combustion that occurs when one of them is ignited is what nourishes

the soul. That fire, in short, is its food.

If one doesn't find out in time what will set off these explosions, the

box of matches dampens, and not a single match will ever be lighted.

If that happens, the soul flees from the body and goes to wander among

the deepest shades, trying in vain to find food to nourish itself,

unaware that only the body it left behind, cold and defenseless, is

capable of providing that food.

                                                        -Like water for chocolate

The first time I read the name “Like water for chocolate” was the book mentioned in one another book, where the protagonist  of the book was assigned to read this book as a school assignment.

The first time I read these words, I felt the book must be some kind of romantic novel which has this conversation. I tried looking for the book but couldn’t find it online in form of  a pdf. I even told one of my friend to look for its hard copy in library, but before we could search for it one night I suddenly found it.

As I started reading the novel I felt it’s a great combination of the foody book as well as a story book. I read and read and read until I finished the last page. And felt the feeling we get after savoring a really nicely prepared dish for a long time.

So here’s my review of like water for chocolate.

The story is of a young girl Tita, who is in a Mexican household which is controlled by her mother, mama Elena. In her youth she fells in love with a boy named pedro, who happens to be fall for her too. He and his father comes to mama Elena for asking Tita’s hand, but mama Elena refuses this by saying that she is the youngest daughter of house and so that means she cant marry anyone, but stay at home and take care of her mother. (I really didn’t get who and why invented such cruel and inhuman tradition.) so then mama Elena don’t just stop at refusing her hand but also says that pedro can marry Tita’s elder sister Rosaura instead of her who is just 2 years older than her. Pedro agrees to this match so he could stay close to Tita. Since he will be living on the same house with all of them, even though Tita is aware that her mother has destroyed her dream and stole her boyfriend and gave it to her sister, she also knows that why pedro has married to Rosaura. But due to stern mother in law Elena he is not able to be near to Tita as he had expected. Tita is an exquisite cook who cooks dishes as if they are piece of art, What I loved about the frequent comings of recipes in the novel that they were giving it a different kind of phenomenal touch so that the scene which was going on was even more imprinted with smells and tastes. Tita has learnt the art of cooking under the teaching of a old cook servant who dies on the day of marriage of Rosaura and Pedro. Tita feels really empty but even then she continues to live on her life in her mothers watch and her infinite work and of course cooking.

One day Tita’s another sister Gurtrudis runs away with a sergeant from army when she cant any longer stay in her house. She gets in trouble and Tita and all family receives a news that she has been working at a brothel.  After watching pedro still has eyes for Tita after fathering a child from Rosaura named Robarto (who Tita adores very much and love his as his mother), Mama Elena decides it will be better if Rosaura and Pedro left home to live in San Francisco.  After they leave Tita becomes very lonely and very sad for her life, since all she ever does is what her mother wants her to do, and her this prison treatment would go on till her mother dies.  One day a news came that the son of Rosaura died due to wrong diet he could no longer abide. Tita gets very angered and throws something on her mother when Mama Elena tells her to continue work and not ever cry again. Mama gets angry and breaks Tita’s nose by a spoon. Tita then goes up on terrace and cries a lot. Elena calls up a doctor from town who is a widower having a son named alex.

The doctor somehow calms down Tita, and brings her down when her mother tells him to put her in a asylum. But instead he takes her with him to his house and treats her till she gets recovered from the attack. The doctor john also likes Tita , he confesses so to her and asks for her hand when she gets perfectly alright from her panic. Tita who feels the opportunity of getting freedom accepts him, and decides never to return to the Ranch which is her house.

But she soon receives an news that her house was attacked by the army during the revolution days and her one servant was raped and her mother had a attack of paralysis due to all this. Tita has no choice but return to the house to take care of her ill mother and handle the house hold. After the return when she prepares meal for her mother, Elena angers and tell her that her meal tastes bitter. Tita gets very upset by her mothers this behavior but continues to stay there. Her fiancé often comes to visit her and treat her mother finds no defect in the meal yet agrees to send a new cook to her next day. After all the cooks have tried mama don’t stop her tantrums and fuss, she somehow survives a month and dies. After her death they discover she had been taking a poison from which she slowly died. Tita feels no sorrow from her mother passing until one day she finds out a box of letters sent to Mama Elena from her lover who was a Dark officer in army. He was a illicit child of a beautiful dark lady and a army officer. When Mama Elena’s parents find out about it they immediately ties knot of her and Titas father.

Although Mama keeps contact with the love of her life, and her first daughter Gurtrudis was an illicit child of him and Elena. Once she finds out about this she plans to run away with him but on the very night someone kills him and Elena has no way but to continue her life with Tita’s father. After Tita’s birth when her father goes to a club to celebrate, some one breaks the new so of Elenas behavior to him , and he passes away by a heart attack.

After finding out the truth Tita feels pity for her mother, and cries on her funeral and decides never to break this secret to anyone.

The very day Pedro and Rosaura returns to the house and starts to live with the. When Pedro finds out about the marriage proposal Tita has from Dr. john he fumes and tells Tita to reconsider the opportunity. Since her mother dead now they can get married. Tita snaps at him by saying that he cant tell her what to do with her life, when he wasn’t brave at the time. Since she never told him not to marry her sister, he also has no right to tell her whom to marry. Sooner Pedro and Rosaura has another child , a girl named Esperanza, and due to birthing complications Rosaura left to have no childrens further.

When john and his son Alex comes to visit Esperanza , the little boy excited after seeing the beautiful child expresses his wish to marry the girl when he is older.

But Rosaura laughs and says she is a only and daughter of house so she wont be married but will live her life with her parents to take care of them. Tita decides never to carry off this tradition on to Esperanza and make  her suffer as she did.

John soon leaves to bring his aunt from US for the wedding and Tita is left with Pedro and Rosaura and the child. During those days one time Pedro takes advantage of Tita and claims her virginity.  Tita is confused with the thoughts of getting back together with Pedro or having a new life with john cant decide what to do. Soon she suspects of being pregnant and that makes things even more complicated. The ran away sister Gurtrudis returns to house married to the sergeant she ran away with, and offers help in Titas decision. She reveals to pedro that Tita is pregnant and he is filled with joy so that he can get his life with Tita as they both had wished. But after few days Tita find out that she wasn’t pregnant and it was a false alarm. Mean while Rosaura becoming the second version of mama Elena tells Tita to carry her love affair with pedro after she is dead, and she will not let those two allow invade their image as a descent family. She takes charge of Esperanza and tells Tita never to come near her daughter. Tita left with jalousie behavior of Pedro and her sisters anger on her for this matter cant really decide the decision to take.

Later in the story , we discovered Pedro and Tita dancing in a wedding, which is the wedding of their daughter  Esperanza to Alex (the boy of doctor).

We are left with the end that Tita refuses to marry doctor, and choses to stay with her love instead. Pedro and Tita makes a treaty with Rosaura that they will never reveal their affair to anyone, Tita sends Esperanza to school, teaches her ancient recipes , makes her a capable lady and allows her to marry the love of her life ,while her mother Rosaura is angry over invading the tradition. But before one year of Esperanza’s marriage she dies of a illness. After the marriage of Esperanza and Alex is over, Tita and Pedro are left alone which leads to a romantic meet of those two who had waited for long time for the love of their life but during that period pedro dies of sudden,  making the saying in above lines true that

 “You must of course take care to light the matches one at a time.

If a powerful emotion should ignite them all at once they would produce

a splendor so dazzling that it would illuminate far beyond what we can

normally see; and then a brilliant tunnel would appear before our eyes,

revealing the path we forgot the moment we were born, and

summoning us to regain the divine origin we had lost.”

Tita commits suicide in order to continue on the path Pedro has lead, making their long awaited love come true.

Ha… so that’s the story of Like water for chocolate. Well certainly I think it might not be a great piece of literature but its very skillfully explained. I laughed at some points where the humor goes with the situation, I also cursed the bitch Mama Elena for her behavior with Tita, I was hoping to find and explanation for her hate towards  Tita but it wasn’t explained. Yet I had thought Tita will choose Dr. john than pedro but I think she knew him better than I do(:D) since she stayed committed to him even after he married, fathered two childrens, left her, and got jealous when she was finally having some happiness in her life. But perhaps love like water for chocolate, always keeps boiling, when egos are forgotten, insults are forgotten. A nice story with a different manner of narrating.

J Like water for chocolate…