Me before you

So a book whose movie is upcoming. which stars one of my favorite series heroin(Emilia Clarke- Daenerys Targaryen) and opposite actor whom I thought was only awesome looking pirate after johnny depp (and will turner of course) in pirates of Caribbean.  so I dug a little deeper and found out the book on which the movie is based on and My goodness. Well I am sort of mushy romantic type of books reader and this was ultimately the one, So on my way home for my holidays I finished almost half of the novel while I was traveling with extreme heat and strawberries to company me while I fought an urge to be nauseous again, and it was worth it....

but then the remaining novel I read later and

Worse worse worse...
This time was the worse period where I cried.
God... I was literally shaking with fear when I finally got at some of the last moments. As if I was the one who was having a closure. Perhaps it has something to do with me being extra emotionally attached to books or the author did fantastic job in creating a world so real through her writing.  And then it all came over me like sudden terror. A fear of death and the definite wish of will. God. Why world has to be so cruel. And do we really get to choose the death? Isnt it's kind of a thing that we should wait upon.
I was lying on my bed in my home of my parents and there was a blank space where my grandma would sleep and for all at once it was about everything.
About life
about death
about letting your most favourite person in the world go.
I am so damn sure if my parents found me sobbing and crying like that over a book they will look at me absolutely with disbelief.
But that's me... I get these sudden urges to read that makes me feel vulnerable and emotional.
I kind of felt that author was being little like new at writing. Absolutely in the start it didn't had any emotional part into it. But as I read and things started go build inside my head like the kind of home Will had and the kind of home Louisa had. And then I was literally just wishing that ... This one had a happy end. But it would have been such a cliche. Seriously.
But then it didn't feel cliche after all. Even when it ended. It seemed perfect. And I was agreed with Will. Right from the moment he said that he can't be the way he is for rest of the life, and not being able to reach out for her by himself.
And then it came to me that not all the stories are supposed to end with a happy ending and even if they do have kind of a sad end, it doesn't have to be a bad story.
I really appreciated her efforts to keep him, make him understand that she loved him. But I was absolutely agreed with the fact that  it was him who was right all the way.

I have seen people making this television thing on the death wish. Well.in a way I did remembered paralytic  story of aruna shanbag which I read. And felt would it be better if we did approved this kind of thing and gave relief to these trapped souls. But... How can someone has a right over something which has no control of humans.
But then who am I to give any opinion about how they should look at life and then it's not just because they are paralytic means life has ended.

God ... I shuddered at the thought of not being able to move my finger and relying on some one else for all things. And it's such a study of deep human emotions, a study of people around the person suffering, people loving them despite of the disability they have, and people wanting just an escape from this all agony. I wish I could write more about this, this death subject kind of gets my nerves. I wish there could be an easy answer to everything, so far for this thing.

I can only pray for all those who are out there fighting against these emotions or those who are having terrible moment of time will find a way out of it. Either by their own choice or destiny may bring something good to look forward to. I wish all such distressed soul will be at rest, dead or alive. ..

I guess if you took a little time reading my blog, you might as well read its synopsis. :)

so here it is, its from wikipedia of course, because baby once I start writing short description it goes on for more pages than I could count. 

Will Traynor was a high achieving and wealthy man who enjoyed life to its fullest, whether this was his successful and demanding job, the many adventures he had experienced, or his equally successful girlfriend. However, he becomes permanently disabled due to an unfortunate road accident.

Two years later, Louisa Clark loses her job at the local café "The Buttered Bun". She is a 26-year-old, unambitious woman with very few qualifications. Louisa lives with her working-class family and is constantly outshone by her younger, more intelligent sister, Treena, who is a single mother. Her parents become disappointed because the entire family depends on her wage. Louisa goes to the Job Centre where Syed, the Job Centre assistant, finds a unique position: look after a disabled man. Despite no prior experience, Louisa is hired by Camilla Traynor, the mother of Will, because she thinks her son needs someone able to brighten his spirits. Louisa notices how falsely everyone is acting in Granta House, Will's family mansion. She later finds out that Mr. Traynor, Will's father, has an extra-marital relationship. Will becomes more communicative and open-minded during his time with Louisa acting as his caregiver.

Louisa notices that Will's wrists are covered with scars. One day, she overhears Will's mother and sister talking privately and learns that he tried to commit suicide shortly after his mother refused to grant his wish to end his life through Dignitas, an assisted suicide organization. Horrified at his attempt to commit suicide, his mother agrees to honor his wish, but only on the condition that he agrees to live six more months. In that time, she secretly plans to change his mind and show him life is still worth living.

Louisa decides to keep the fact that she overheard hidden from Will and his mother. However, she does end up telling Treena and together they come up with ideas to convince Will to abandon his wish. Over the next few weeks, Will loosens up and agrees on Louisa shaving his beard and cutting his shaggy hair, which he himself had not done in ages. Louisa executes her plans and takes Will to outings, and although Will is significantly happier, she senses that it isn't enough to convince him. Finally, she's overwhelmed and decides she can no longer be a part of Will's assisted death. Mrs. Traynor recognizes the positive effect Louisa has had on Will and persuades her until she comes back to work with Will. In a last and desperate try, Louisa tells Will’s parents and sister that she wants to organize for Will a foreign visit to the island of Mauritius. Meanwhile, the financial situation in Louisa’s family gets worse as her father loses his job, but fortunately, Mr. Traynor offers Louisa’s father a position at the castle.

Will and Louisa end up spending their days talking frequently to each other, her being his caregiver. He notices that she has a very limited life and that her ambitions are quite small, which is the exact opposite of him before his accident. Will tries to motivate Louisa to change her life, to start doing something different and interesting. She's still seeing her longtime boyfriend, Patrick, though they break up due to his jealousy.

With the help of the internet and Treena, Louisa manages to plan a holiday full of adventures for Will in Mauritius. The night before returning home, Louisa confesses to Will that she loves him and kisses him. Will tells her that he has something to say, but she knows he wants to tell her about his plans with Dignitas. Louisa confesses that she knows. Will tells her that she has made their time together the time of his life, but that he can not bear to live life in a wheelchair. He would be following through with his plans. Angry and hurt, Louisa stomps off and does not speak to him for the rest of their trip. When they return home Will's parents are pleasantly surprised to see him in such good physical condition. Louisa, however, abdicates as caretaker, and they understand that Will has not changed his mind.

On the night of Will's flight to Switzerland, Louisa decides she has to see Will one last time. Her mother opposes because of the same reason Louisa didn't want to work as Will's caregiver at the start, but Louisa gets approval from her father and proceeds. When she meets Will in Dignitas, they both agree that the past six months have been the best in their lives. He dies shortly after in the clinic. Will leaves Louisa a considerable amount of money to continue her education and to expand her horizons beyond her hometown.