The fountainhead

Some books teach us, some remind us of some things, some inspires us and some are so different that they make us doubt our basic beliefs which we have been conceiving from a long time and I would say "The Fountainhead" was one of that sort of book.

I wrote so much content about this book while I was reading it. I wrote it in the notepad, I wrote it in the adobe notes section, I would high light the sentences and write one or two lines in clips on my kindle. After a week after I finished the book I was trying to figure out a review about this book, but none. My mind kept going black as if some sort of memory clean up was in process.
Yet I am sitting in a empty lab with so many computers buzzing around me and I am thinking of all the difference "The Fountainhead" has made in my thought process I feel disturbed. I feel so disturbed with a hammer sound coming out of window, a murmur of students. And I feel as of I need utter silence to write and think about this book.Same as the way Roark feels when he is diving in the lake near his college, or at the house he built for Dominique and Waynand, or the holiday houses he built.

Even then...
I guess this time I will change a pattern of my review a bit. I would write what I felt as character wise opinion about this one. 
Well then the very first comes Roark. The protagonist of the novel. At first I felt as if he is some sort of monk doing his meditation at a place but then as I was reading about his behavior, his way of dealing with people. I was astonished with his confidence, dedication for his work, and this man seemed like someone I would like to have as a mentor in my life. I could not find a single mistake in the way he was made  , explained and behaved. Roark was silent in the whole novel. Letting others behave the way they wanted with him. And focused on his work despite of critics and whatever crap people were throwing on him. But the only thing which remained through was his belief on himself. He was so sure if himself that none the external factors mattered as if they didn't even existed for him
And I was surprised to see that I have experienced this... Some times when you want something so desperately it doesn't matter what others say or what the situation is. Or anything at all. We just know so deep within us that we are absolutely right to do whatever we are doing at the moment. And those are the moment which reward us with disbelieving victory. When we are so confirmed that we are not going to loose. And I have been through this once or twice in my life but Roark was in this phase all the time. I can only imagine what that must be to live in at peace state all the time. I admired the one statement so much 

He had the feeling that he was not hiring this man, but surrendering himself into his employment.

 as he was the only person who knew what exactly his client wanted and roark had proved his statement that "question isn't who will let me! Question is who will stop me" 

and oh my, what a amazing feeling I had when I read this sentence, that how much belief on ourselves matter, and what it is like to stay true to ourseleves against all the people trying to shape us.
Brilliant!

Now take a human body. Why wouldn't you like to see a human body with a curling tail with a crest of ostrich feathers at the end? And with ears shaped like acanthus leaves? It would be ornamental, you know, instead of the stark, bare ugliness we have now. Well, why don't you like the idea? Because it would be useless
and pointless. Because the beauty of the human body is that it hasn't a single muscle which doesn't serve its purpose; that there's not a line wasted; that every detail of it fits one idea, the
idea of a man and the life of a man.

and I felt how much I agree with this, as if the things in minimalist life are how true, as we are made for each every bit of usefulness in our each part of our body, why do we need all the rest of glittering things. 

When first time waynand asks Roark to meet Dominique and Roark only says "I do." and I was like

"He does. god damn you waynand. He do understand her more than you do." I was feeling like I was already seeing this all in front of my eyes, as if I wasnt reading but watching a movie :D

 
And ultimately the last trial of roark for the case. And I felt he had summarised the entire book there. Right there in each sentence and in each word. He defeated toohey, and the whole rest of the world who was in his way of success. A world on the verge of a slavery and he was like a messiah sent to at least keep the light alive in huge storm. And the word 'not guilty ' rang like a unbeatable bell in my ears. It was the conclusion of whatever Roark had been through. 

The next person is Dominique, (Although I kind of hate her, :P)

Dominique seems a little difficult someone to handle, understand. But I feel a bit respect towards her for her search of something she wants desperately. If I had a rich father like Francon and we had a villa somewhere I would have definitely spent my days out there in silence. That has been my so long dream to be somewhere only in my own company with no one to disturb the silence. Apart from that I had a real tragic incidence when I read that she threw away the statue to break it and I was so angry with her as why would she do something like this. But then I came to a part when she meets Roark and she wants to break him, and when it slowly sunk into me as why she wants to break him and there it was...
She wanted to break the statue because it was so beautiful that its beauty she wanted to keep only to herself. She didn't wanted to share it with anyone, similarly she didn't want to share Roark with anyone, to let him make his work and defile it with other people's opinions who do not understand his greatness. It was all so confusing but when it felt right I was stunned for an entire minute with this relevance. Many things and incidence surprised and confused me in this novel but none of them came close to Dominique. I didn't understand why she was the way she was. I didn't understand what made her so rigid about everything, despite being a normal person she was someone entirely different persona within herself. Most women would like men to worship them, to care for them, but she wanted a man who would break her, who would be so better than her that she will feel sunken in front of him. On a quest of this I totally understood the encounter between her and roark. Under any other circumstances I wouldnt have approved whatever happens among them,  a rape. A horrible incident which would change a women's life entirely but this was utterly justified. And  I don't even know what was the reason that justified it. It's like a thing to be felt by individual. Apart from all the weird things Dominique did and behaved, she was like a dark part of book which was needed like a heavy side needed in a sketch to elevate it.

After that comes Wynand. At first I thought this man was worse Person who could ever owe the empire.

He hired a sensitive poet to cover baseball games. He hired an art expert to handle financial news. He got a socialist to defend factory owners and a conservative to champion labor. He forced an atheist to write on the glories of religion. He made a disciplined scientist proclaim the superiority of mystical intuition over the scientific method. He gave a great symphony conductor a munificent yearly income, for no work at all, on the sole condition that he never
conduct an orchestra again. 

With his power the way he was manipulating people. I thought of him as merciless monster who could not see something good in the world being born. When I read how he would make people work for him, I literally wrote a note saying that what is wrong with these people in this book. I am banging my head with irritation.
But as the further story enfolded I thought of waynand as a helpless child. Someone who was defeated and found out that through his entire life whatever he did was worthless. A zero. I don't even want to think that this disappointment. As its the cruelest one. We only have a life and if u spent it in something which meant nothing at all. Its too hard isn't it. I was actually feeling sorry that the only thing that mattered in the last for waynand was his skyscraper. And even whatever he had to do with the most favorite people in his life. But it was justified as well, similar way all the things before.

One person whom I was feeling sorry for the entire novel was Keating. He was like a real good artist gone to do engineering because his parents wanted it. And he tried to fit in. By bending, mending, cutting parts of his self, altering and trying to decorate himself to be presentable to the world, but after a while it was fruitless. And obviously he suffered because he could no longer sustain the lies he had lived with. I felt Dominique was cruel to marry him and he knew the reason why was she marrying him but he tried to keep the play go on despite he knew he was neither mentally prepared to pretend anymore.

One more notable persons statement I must mention here and that was mike. 

"It's something made me very sick once, but then it turned out it make no difference at all, in the long run."

What Mike at the time of Roarks case, was ultimately summarizing what I have felt from last 9 years while I was reading my old journals and diaries. That every difficult period is going to pass, and it wouldn't matter in next few years. And that is a really great advice to keep going on when you are being afraid of the end results of something.

and I kept reading,and it  changed my perspective. Really it did.
I feel while reading as I am reading something forbidden, as if I am committing a crime, reading something so complex, something I dont understand. Its not as if I am a minor, but still. It just seems lot harder to comprehend, the truth of people, their reasons to break someone, to hate someone ,to love someone. Each sentence seems like a puzzle given to solve, and I was literally banging my head as what does this mean? what does that mean? 

And finally. Finally when roark wins his trial and he is through all with just the ease.  I was having headphones in my ears and one of my favorite in songs which makes me feel relaxed. (Maybe you should try it as well, : ) "We're all the way" by Eric Clapton. )

 and

She saw him standing above her, on the top platform of the Wynand Building. He waved to her.
The line of the ocean cut the sky. The ocean mounted as the city descended. She passed the pinnacles of bank buildings. She passed the crowns of courthouses. She rose above the spires of churches.
Then there was only the ocean and the sky and the figure of Howard Roark.  

 And as I was reading the 'the end' on the last page and the last note of "we're all the way" and they were.. : )