Becoming by Michelle Obama

Just done with becoming...

I remember reading dreams from my father few years back when I was in college, reading a book about Barack Obama's childhood and his struggle with his dreams.

I remember very little of it now as I was going through Michelles memoir. 

A book penned down by the first lady after they left the office including her journey from her childhood to becoming the first lady and eventually leaving the white House. 

It starts great as she describes her childhood with respect to her well mannered and well wishing parents who want only good things for their kids. 

What I have understood so far by reading biographies that usually people are shaped with their childhood. The more people support them , the more they tend to flourish with their ideas and enthusiasm to do great things in life. Mothers are the moral and behavioural compass for ones life. 

There is a subtle highlighted point in the book that keeps resonating and  that  People who achieve great things in lives, have a partner who keeps them out of the petty arguments. Looking beyond their small world and seeing the unexplored Universe which they wish to conquer. I don't mean to say that single people aren't successful but the more strong support you have the more you tend to be relaxed about being tangled up in small issues while the biggest challenge awaits. 

 Her own struggle while now being shoulder to shoulder with her husband takes us into her complicated journey of how she has came through it. 

I saw a lot of her shows and public appearances but I never knew they were always to support some or another initiative she was working on.

 

The one thing that is especially highlighted in her story that how easy she makes it seem.

Getting A's in all exams, being an Ivy league graduate with two degrees of colleges like Princeton and Harvard. 

Getting a job at a top notch company, working through it to eventually realising need to work towards fulfilment through work. 

Even being the first lady of the United States . She makes it sound as if it was as possible as it could be for anyone willing to take efforts and honestly working towards their goals. 

Barack and her story is indeed a miracle when they became someone to bring hope to thousands of oppressed community to believe that they also are worth being at the front line. 

I loved the part where she has found ways to parent her two kids and still find meaningful work with the use of huge platform like white house. 

I have always admired her as a strong willed and someone one could look up to in matters of being the ideal woman.  I am sure so many women and girls all across globe do so. 

This book has been an amazing journey through her most personal and professional struggles along with insights of her values and virtues.

 

No wonder it's best selling in the mere time of few weeks.

An amazing read after a long time..

Becoming by Michelle Obama. 

#MeToo and the Effects

"And then he asked me to .."
"And I was helpless against..."
"I was shocked to the core to accept reality..."
"No one out there listens to the accused while pretending to be the judges..."

Sounds familiar?
Well that has been the tone of media and news these following days since the #MeToo has taken its roots in India.
I wrote about this issue on Medium but now it seems as if this movement has taken a long way back from the reason why it started.
As I set to write something about the new wave hitting Indian media with the accusations of sexual assaults from people in power, so many thoughts are buzzing in my head.
It involves terms like workplace harassment, false accusations, horizontal violence and  a movement which emerged as an after effect of Trumps presidency after seeing the accepted norms of harassment and disrespect.
It took almost an year to reach its roots in India, a place where I live but seeing it closely now, I am not really sure whether I am up for the effects of aftermath of this movement.
I have been reading lot of allegations and twitter feeds and news media making havoc about this entire issue while spectators not only sitting watching the blame game but choosing to take their own decided side and choosing to blame or hurt the effected and accused person.

A lot of pseudo- feminism  has been seen making it look as if there can be only one side of the issue the one which is portrayed on Media in which victim or the accuser is always right, and all the readers are supposed to hate the person who is accused without considering the benefit of doubt for a second.

Me being a third person and (fortunately) haven't really been through any such scenario find it a bit difficult to form an opinion but again my lack of experience in this matter gives me an edge to consider the both sides.

Obviously when the accused is certainly guilty of their actions then there is no question of asking anyone to consider both side, but only by some accusations which seem gore and heartbreaking how could we say that the accused is actually guilty of the deed?

This movement was bound to happen since this is a result of burying an issue for too long and no body willing to take any action against the voices which decided to break free.

But when the accusations have been put forth for the sake of publicity stunt or false accusations to take revenge of some past anger or frustration then it just seems as if what sort of step we have taken in order to gain justice.

It seems as if in efforts to bring equality the scales have been tipping way too much supporting either side.

Its certainly heartbreaking to read through some of these incidents and also equally frustrating to see the intimate conversations being released to public just to prove one not guilty.

I just wish soon this imbalance will find its way to balance out the difference between and continue to call what is wrong as wrong without the need to go to extremities.

I respect the  genuine victims and wish that soon we will be able to thrive in a work environment where your work is the only parameter you will be judged on which will help to bring the equality and transparency among the workplaces.

I expect to see a positive change where our future generations will not accept any wrong doings as "Chalata hai" or "You signed up for it when you stepped in", and find the spirit to stand up against those who encourage or approves of this kind of behavior. 

After all truth will find its way anyhow, no matter how someone tried hard to bury it or change the facts.
Going forward I only expect to see a better positive outcome of this movement.

Chef's table- An incredible Journey into lives of magicians of food...

As far as I can remember my relationship with food and cooking, I remember waiting for the opportunity I could grab to cook something new every weekend.
My mother would cook spicy fish curries, and chicken curries and my grandmother would invent something new with each of her attempts.
For me cooking has always been an experience of meditation and creating something with the comfort and passion that I enjoy like my any other hobby. I never knew people could embrace this passion into their lives and live for the dream of making something which has never been invented in years and years.
As I started to watch Chef's table I was taken aback with the amount of struggle and passion there is among this very specific field which involves making someone eat your food and find paradise.
I have watched most of the episodes I could get my hands on and till now I was surprised how making something your passion could have a greater impact on your life.
I remember their struggle to create something with a backdrop of an artists life. I can feel their need to do something that has never been done before. I remember the struggle of a chef with no taste buds to taste and his discovery of it again. I remember the beautiful house and restaurant of a chef in the remote country like Slovenia. There's an Indian guy who's story astonishes you with his amazing journey for exploring the fine dining experience with Indian cuisine. There's Korean nun who sees cooking as an important part of human being's life. An American chef who was in love with Japan which eventually led to discovering his passion.
I can relate to this very specific part where they consider food as their driving instinct. They are like the artists waiting to create something out of the existing and make it anew.
To an extent we look at food just as a part of survival. I wish I could explore this artistic side of cooking which has a distinct style of itself.
At first I would think fine dining was actually pretentious because of the extreme small portions of food and high end chef's forcing people to change their perception of tastes.
But after watching this specific series my opinion has been completely transformed as there is some sort of power play in making someone eat your creation and being acclaimed for it.
There isn't just the money minded pretentiousness behind it but also hard work and dedication.
For me this was just a show in beginning but now it has become an obsession and inspirational thing to look at how something can be absolutely fantastic when you give your best to it.

To a best show I have discovered after a long time.

Chef's Table.

Me too

The first time I saw this one a friends Facebook wall and thought it might just be a fad newly founded to make the wall posts about. 

The more I researched about it, it seemed like a pit of darkness I don’t wish to fall into, because it reminds me of the time I had been there too. 

Now it isn't just two words pronounced together to make headline, there is whole bunch of pain and sadness behind it which everyone belonging to this group can feel. 

I met a friend who had been through it too, worse than mine as she went into depression and therapy to recover from the pain and shock. 

I on the other hand never really paid much attention to what happened to me in a bus because I tried to convince myself that it was just mere few seconds although it made me feel the worse for each time I thought about it. 

As I think about it now when the Me too movement makes us look at this ugly truth we have been hiding behind our smiling faces and decent images. 

I wonder why did I keep feeling it was my fault even when it wasn’t. 

Why my friend went into depression even when it wasn’t her fault and the person who did it might have laughed at it. 

I remember myself crying on a dark night when there was a news on a channel that a 6 months’ baby was raped by her uncle and then she died. 

I remember feeling scared of the surrounding listening to the news of a girl being raped 8 days and then killed in my own country. 

I was passing on road in cab as I could see people protesting roadside with her face on a black placard in their hands, and I turned my head away just because it would give me night mares of the innocent girl asking the questions I do not have answers to. 

Yes. They hide the gore details because we are not strong enough to read it and get through it. 

It makes us feel scared, ashamed and tired and eventually helpless because no matter how harsh we make the laws against these people who defy the whole meaning of being a human, things like this keep happening. Almost all of us face this hideous feeling once in life time when you are scared and ashamed of yourself, ashamed of womanhood. 

Sex is a taboo where we deal with it on daily basis but it has deep roots in our minds regarding its sanity and its importance. 

Laws will never ever make a difference unless the children we raise have the very understanding of how it feels to a woman to be groped and fondled or grabbed in public or private place. 

What it does to our minds and our ability to be stronger and better and fearless. 

I chose my ways of being careful about the timings I go out and always making sure I have backup plan and always paying extra attention to my surroundings. 

But that does not make any difference to that horrible feeling I get when I see my cab driver taking another turn by leaving the tracking pattern. 

I am careful about not making eye contact on road or in public transport but that does not fail to make me uncomfortable a gaze casually watching me like a predator watching its prey. 

Even though I try to come early back home, that doesn’t make me feel less afraid when the clock reaches past 7. 

Me too might have begun revealing how big this issue actually is, but that will not stop happening. 

If only they could find a way to deliver this to the generations on their way to adulthood and make them realize that it’s not okay to do something as this to anyone. 

Maybe this might take a long, long time but I wish I will not have to tell my daughters to come home before dark or not to enter any unknown dark place because it might lead to something that they are not prepared to deal with. 

Well I am just wishful…

Pro-Life or Pro-Choice

I have been reading and listening about this issue and never really have any substantial opinion for the point. 

Just few days ago when I suddenly thought about it from my perspective I realized how wrong and confused opinions I hold about this. I mean yes, I did watch more than enough documentaries about child birth, hold an intense emotional bond for my future off spring I never really gave a thought to why some people are pro life and some are pro choice. 

Pro life- A person who believes to be supportive of a child birth and never taking any stand which might turn into a forcefully ending a child’s life because of the emotional and other reasons. 

Pro choice- A person who believes that if a child birth might result into something worse situation then it’s better to prevent them from suffering by ending their life rather than being emotional or other reasons. 

These are my definitions, as I went on reading I found hundreds of aspect of the same thing which would overlap and continue the argument of pro life vs pro choice go on for as long as we human exist. 

As I come to conclusion of my point of view I feel maybe I have been more inclined towards pro choice. 

There are so many reasons when people are not ready to alter their life because of a mere mistake they made. 

A birth of child is always an life altering decision, people spend their money, energy, emotional involvement, time and other future plans when they think about having a family. 

But if something that was unplanned is ruining their whole plan wouldn’t they choose the choices they might use instead of just sticking to it? Of course they would. 

Aren’t we all just selfish bits living for what we think will make us happy. 

some reasons for taking the decisions of aborting the child.

rape cases

incestuous relationship resulting into forced pregnancy 

threat to health of woman 

threat to future conditions of parents

uncertainty of the future of the child

drug cases having unhealthy children 

child is deformed or won’t survive

As far as I know, I have always been a baby enthusiast if you call it. 

The concept of parenthood excites me as visiting eiffel tower or getting married. 

I feel as if it is going to be an overwhelming experience for me to go through. 

I feel it will provide me so much emotional backup to write about this one experience which I have waited for as long as I can remember, and aborting a child seems as if doing the very thing that I will regret for the rest of my life. 

But if that choice is backed by certain practical ways of dealing with an situation then I might do it no matter how hard it is. 

The subject is obviously the emotional and complex to come up to a single solution but putting up restrictions which prevents woman or rather people from having control over their own lives is certainly not acceptable. 

The argument can go on for long time as long as we don’t come up to a certain scientific basis to end it by any means. Well until then choices are all that we can justify our behavior with... 

The course of Love

I came across this book recommendation through
a blog post.
I looked it up and ordered it from amazon.
At first it just seemed a normal love story
told in fragments with italics quotes inserted
in between.
As the story went on I started to relate it to my
own life and how crazily accurate all of that’s
written in those italics paragraphs sounds.
I read it through the lazy days at work,
writing down paragraphs in between an
learning something new about love and
togetherness every day.
I have found a gem of books after many days
where I can say I have now learn something
beyond someone’s expectations through
few paragraphs.
The lines seems as if filtered through
the mind churning ideas and thoughts put into
writing them.
So enough the glorification of book itself
and let me get straight to the point.
Course of love seems like a cheesy name but
the book it self teach us something so complicated
as dealing with our partners before and after
marriage.
It focuses on a story of a couple who starts
from the beginning and go through different
dilemmas of coping up with the another
person while living true to the constitution
of marriage itself.
It teaches not only about the married couples
but also about being compassionate towards
the normal people we meet in every day life.
A beautiful ride of emotional understanding
for the people we fall in love with...

Some memorable quotes from the book,
the success of any relationship should be determined not just by how happy a
couple are to be together, but by how worried each partner should be about
not being in a relationship at all.

Anna Karenina

Most of my blogs start with this line,

"So I heard this one podcast..." and I did hear a podcast featuring a story of a doctor held in prison delivering the entire book of Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy to 8 other prisoner through Morse code on prison walls.
One of the listener finds a new way of loving his wife who was away from him at that time and so did my interest was intrigues.
I reopened the book and started going through the pages after pages, chapters after chapters of Anna Karenina.
Exhausted almost until I came to an end finally today, after 4-5 months of continuous reading.

I was sitting in my room filled with dull light of the oil lamp, while I could see the outside road flowing with buses and vehicles as the last chapter was run by through audio recording.
I wished why was this book ending so soon.

I will not say I enjoyed each and every moment of it, but the few of its moments have engraved in my conscious as if to never forget them.
The thoughts that rung through me as I am done with this great master piece by Tolstoy, I am astonished how easily he can write the blunt truth and wretched thoughts by humans.
Anna falls in love with a man outside of her wedlock but her feelings for him seems  amazingly true and loving that you cant help but admire her honesty.
The other side of the story where a man named Levin go through a loving relationship to a generalized marriage with understanding and love life, Anna peruses her momentary joy and happiness ending up with a horrific state of life.

Anna's husband on the other hand seems helpless also arrogant and also a forgivable man at times.
The most important thing this book teaches is the shades of humans throughout the course of life.
We all try to think of ourselves and others into a spectrum of colors and one being gray, white or black... But Leo tells us a harsh truth story that people change and their affections and love and devotions change.
He presents us not a conclusion of what right and whats wrong, but mere a tale of people with complex lives. He makes us believe in the fact that what you think isnt always right or wrong and everyone has a right to explain their actions.

Unfortunately in the end it all seems vague and you can not really decide what to think about this tale, but it sure feels that we now know that moral values are always objective.

Some people might find the extra long texts in this book boring such as thoughts of dogs, or the political situation discussed at such a intense level. But to me despite of all the effort I found Anna Karenina worth my time. She feel like an heroin of a different time yet resonates with each of us even today with her honest and fearless thoughts.

To an epic tale! Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy!