The first time I saw
this one a friends Facebook wall and thought it might just be a fad newly
founded to make the wall posts about.
The more I researched
about it, it seemed like a pit of darkness I don’t wish to fall into, because
it reminds me of the time I had been there too.
Now it isn't just two words pronounced together to make headline, there is whole bunch of pain and sadness behind it which everyone belonging to this group can feel.
I met a friend who had
been through it too, worse than mine as she went into depression and therapy to
recover from the pain and shock.
I on the other hand
never really paid much attention to what happened to me in a bus because I
tried to convince myself that it was just mere few seconds although it made me
feel the worse for each time I thought about it.
As I think about it now
when the Me too movement makes us look at this ugly truth we have been hiding
behind our smiling faces and decent images.
I wonder why did I
keep feeling it was my fault even when it wasn’t.
Why my friend went
into depression even when it wasn’t her fault and the person who did it might
have laughed at it.
I remember myself
crying on a dark night when there was a news on a channel that a 6 months’ baby
was raped by her uncle and then she died.
I remember feeling
scared of the surrounding listening to the news of a girl being raped 8 days
and then killed in my own country.
I was passing on road
in cab as I could see people protesting roadside with her face on a black
placard in their hands, and I turned my head away just because it would give me
night mares of the innocent girl asking the questions I do not have answers
to.
Yes. They hide the
gore details because we are not strong enough to read it and get through
it.
It makes us feel
scared, ashamed and tired and eventually helpless because no matter how harsh
we make the laws against these people who defy the whole meaning of being a
human, things like this keep happening. Almost all of us face this hideous
feeling once in life time when you are scared and ashamed of yourself, ashamed
of womanhood.
Sex is a taboo where
we deal with it on daily basis but it has deep roots in our minds regarding its
sanity and its importance.
Laws will never ever
make a difference unless the children we raise have the very understanding of
how it feels to a woman to be groped and fondled or grabbed in public or
private place.
What it does to our
minds and our ability to be stronger and better and fearless.
I chose my ways of
being careful about the timings I go out and always making sure I have backup
plan and always paying extra attention to my surroundings.
But that does not make
any difference to that horrible feeling I get when I see my cab driver taking
another turn by leaving the tracking pattern.
I am careful about not
making eye contact on road or in public transport but that does not fail to
make me uncomfortable a gaze casually watching me like a predator watching its
prey.
Even though I try to
come early back home, that doesn’t make me feel less afraid when the clock
reaches past 7.
Me too might have
begun revealing how big this issue actually is, but that will not stop
happening.
If only they could
find a way to deliver this to the generations on their way to adulthood and
make them realize that it’s not okay to do something as this to anyone.
Maybe this might take
a long, long time but I wish I will not have to tell my daughters to come home
before dark or not to enter any unknown dark place because it might lead to
something that they are not prepared to deal with.
Well I am just wishful…
