The fountainhead

Some books teach us, some remind us of some things, some inspires us and some are so different that they make us doubt our basic beliefs which we have been conceiving from a long time and I would say "The Fountainhead" was one of that sort of book.

I wrote so much content about this book while I was reading it. I wrote it in the notepad, I wrote it in the adobe notes section, I would high light the sentences and write one or two lines in clips on my kindle. After a week after I finished the book I was trying to figure out a review about this book, but none. My mind kept going black as if some sort of memory clean up was in process.
Yet I am sitting in a empty lab with so many computers buzzing around me and I am thinking of all the difference "The Fountainhead" has made in my thought process I feel disturbed. I feel so disturbed with a hammer sound coming out of window, a murmur of students. And I feel as of I need utter silence to write and think about this book.Same as the way Roark feels when he is diving in the lake near his college, or at the house he built for Dominique and Waynand, or the holiday houses he built.

Even then...
I guess this time I will change a pattern of my review a bit. I would write what I felt as character wise opinion about this one. 
Well then the very first comes Roark. The protagonist of the novel. At first I felt as if he is some sort of monk doing his meditation at a place but then as I was reading about his behavior, his way of dealing with people. I was astonished with his confidence, dedication for his work, and this man seemed like someone I would like to have as a mentor in my life. I could not find a single mistake in the way he was made  , explained and behaved. Roark was silent in the whole novel. Letting others behave the way they wanted with him. And focused on his work despite of critics and whatever crap people were throwing on him. But the only thing which remained through was his belief on himself. He was so sure if himself that none the external factors mattered as if they didn't even existed for him
And I was surprised to see that I have experienced this... Some times when you want something so desperately it doesn't matter what others say or what the situation is. Or anything at all. We just know so deep within us that we are absolutely right to do whatever we are doing at the moment. And those are the moment which reward us with disbelieving victory. When we are so confirmed that we are not going to loose. And I have been through this once or twice in my life but Roark was in this phase all the time. I can only imagine what that must be to live in at peace state all the time. I admired the one statement so much 

He had the feeling that he was not hiring this man, but surrendering himself into his employment.

 as he was the only person who knew what exactly his client wanted and roark had proved his statement that "question isn't who will let me! Question is who will stop me" 

and oh my, what a amazing feeling I had when I read this sentence, that how much belief on ourselves matter, and what it is like to stay true to ourseleves against all the people trying to shape us.
Brilliant!

Now take a human body. Why wouldn't you like to see a human body with a curling tail with a crest of ostrich feathers at the end? And with ears shaped like acanthus leaves? It would be ornamental, you know, instead of the stark, bare ugliness we have now. Well, why don't you like the idea? Because it would be useless
and pointless. Because the beauty of the human body is that it hasn't a single muscle which doesn't serve its purpose; that there's not a line wasted; that every detail of it fits one idea, the
idea of a man and the life of a man.

and I felt how much I agree with this, as if the things in minimalist life are how true, as we are made for each every bit of usefulness in our each part of our body, why do we need all the rest of glittering things. 

When first time waynand asks Roark to meet Dominique and Roark only says "I do." and I was like

"He does. god damn you waynand. He do understand her more than you do." I was feeling like I was already seeing this all in front of my eyes, as if I wasnt reading but watching a movie :D

 
And ultimately the last trial of roark for the case. And I felt he had summarised the entire book there. Right there in each sentence and in each word. He defeated toohey, and the whole rest of the world who was in his way of success. A world on the verge of a slavery and he was like a messiah sent to at least keep the light alive in huge storm. And the word 'not guilty ' rang like a unbeatable bell in my ears. It was the conclusion of whatever Roark had been through. 

The next person is Dominique, (Although I kind of hate her, :P)

Dominique seems a little difficult someone to handle, understand. But I feel a bit respect towards her for her search of something she wants desperately. If I had a rich father like Francon and we had a villa somewhere I would have definitely spent my days out there in silence. That has been my so long dream to be somewhere only in my own company with no one to disturb the silence. Apart from that I had a real tragic incidence when I read that she threw away the statue to break it and I was so angry with her as why would she do something like this. But then I came to a part when she meets Roark and she wants to break him, and when it slowly sunk into me as why she wants to break him and there it was...
She wanted to break the statue because it was so beautiful that its beauty she wanted to keep only to herself. She didn't wanted to share it with anyone, similarly she didn't want to share Roark with anyone, to let him make his work and defile it with other people's opinions who do not understand his greatness. It was all so confusing but when it felt right I was stunned for an entire minute with this relevance. Many things and incidence surprised and confused me in this novel but none of them came close to Dominique. I didn't understand why she was the way she was. I didn't understand what made her so rigid about everything, despite being a normal person she was someone entirely different persona within herself. Most women would like men to worship them, to care for them, but she wanted a man who would break her, who would be so better than her that she will feel sunken in front of him. On a quest of this I totally understood the encounter between her and roark. Under any other circumstances I wouldnt have approved whatever happens among them,  a rape. A horrible incident which would change a women's life entirely but this was utterly justified. And  I don't even know what was the reason that justified it. It's like a thing to be felt by individual. Apart from all the weird things Dominique did and behaved, she was like a dark part of book which was needed like a heavy side needed in a sketch to elevate it.

After that comes Wynand. At first I thought this man was worse Person who could ever owe the empire.

He hired a sensitive poet to cover baseball games. He hired an art expert to handle financial news. He got a socialist to defend factory owners and a conservative to champion labor. He forced an atheist to write on the glories of religion. He made a disciplined scientist proclaim the superiority of mystical intuition over the scientific method. He gave a great symphony conductor a munificent yearly income, for no work at all, on the sole condition that he never
conduct an orchestra again. 

With his power the way he was manipulating people. I thought of him as merciless monster who could not see something good in the world being born. When I read how he would make people work for him, I literally wrote a note saying that what is wrong with these people in this book. I am banging my head with irritation.
But as the further story enfolded I thought of waynand as a helpless child. Someone who was defeated and found out that through his entire life whatever he did was worthless. A zero. I don't even want to think that this disappointment. As its the cruelest one. We only have a life and if u spent it in something which meant nothing at all. Its too hard isn't it. I was actually feeling sorry that the only thing that mattered in the last for waynand was his skyscraper. And even whatever he had to do with the most favorite people in his life. But it was justified as well, similar way all the things before.

One person whom I was feeling sorry for the entire novel was Keating. He was like a real good artist gone to do engineering because his parents wanted it. And he tried to fit in. By bending, mending, cutting parts of his self, altering and trying to decorate himself to be presentable to the world, but after a while it was fruitless. And obviously he suffered because he could no longer sustain the lies he had lived with. I felt Dominique was cruel to marry him and he knew the reason why was she marrying him but he tried to keep the play go on despite he knew he was neither mentally prepared to pretend anymore.

One more notable persons statement I must mention here and that was mike. 

"It's something made me very sick once, but then it turned out it make no difference at all, in the long run."

What Mike at the time of Roarks case, was ultimately summarizing what I have felt from last 9 years while I was reading my old journals and diaries. That every difficult period is going to pass, and it wouldn't matter in next few years. And that is a really great advice to keep going on when you are being afraid of the end results of something.

and I kept reading,and it  changed my perspective. Really it did.
I feel while reading as I am reading something forbidden, as if I am committing a crime, reading something so complex, something I dont understand. Its not as if I am a minor, but still. It just seems lot harder to comprehend, the truth of people, their reasons to break someone, to hate someone ,to love someone. Each sentence seems like a puzzle given to solve, and I was literally banging my head as what does this mean? what does that mean? 

And finally. Finally when roark wins his trial and he is through all with just the ease.  I was having headphones in my ears and one of my favorite in songs which makes me feel relaxed. (Maybe you should try it as well, : ) "We're all the way" by Eric Clapton. )

 and

She saw him standing above her, on the top platform of the Wynand Building. He waved to her.
The line of the ocean cut the sky. The ocean mounted as the city descended. She passed the pinnacles of bank buildings. She passed the crowns of courthouses. She rose above the spires of churches.
Then there was only the ocean and the sky and the figure of Howard Roark.  

 And as I was reading the 'the end' on the last page and the last note of "we're all the way" and they were.. : )

Why am I here?

तुम्ही विचारता, मी येथे कशासाठी आहे
तुम्ही इथे नाही, दोष देण्यासाठी
तुम्ही इथे नाही, रडण्यासाठी
तुम्ही इथे नाही, झोपण्यासाठी
तुम्ही इथे नाही, दिमाख दाखवण्यासाठी
तुम्ही इथे नाही, झगडण्यासाठी
तुम्ही इथे नाही, दुखीः होण्यासाठी
तुम्ही इथे नाही, रागावण्यासाठी
तुम्ही इथे नाही, चिंता करण्यासाठी

                                 - pandit shri shri ravi shankar

I was sitting in my office on a hot afternoon, while I found a book of the art of living. Just somewhere written as a translation of Ravishankar speeches.
and I guess I had the partial answer to the question which has haunted my conscious.
That why are we here?

Here's a translation of above, perhaps it might not be the exact words of the original poem, as I found only the marathi translation.

You ask, why am I here?
You are not here, to blame
You are not here,  to cry
You are not here, to sleep
You are not here, to show off
You are not here, to fight
You are not here, to get sad
You are not here, to get angered
You are not here, to worry...



 We are here to not to do all these things, we are here to do the rest of them! :) Merci! 

Something that keeps us going against...

Well, I am not even sure what  I am going to write in my this post, but lets hope it will be something worth reading.

So I was just browsing randomly on google and came across this director who has made everyone crazy with his notable movies which shows the reality of the world we live in. 
of course Nagraj Manjule. and I came across his wikipedia page, and as I scrolled down I found that he has won almost all the awards for his films, which were nominated. 
and then I read some of his interviews and I had to admit, sometimes your success isnt really a something you want, it something you must because you want to make your voice loud enough so it will reach every persons heart. Piercing through all the limits society has burdened on you. 

He says, "“In India, it is never enough to introduce yourself with your first name. One will always probe for your last name, because it instantly identifies you with a region, caste and community”

and I knew what does this means, what does identifying someone by his last name means, what does it mean to make our prejudices about them and something deep within us which makes them untouchables within a second before we even take efforts to know them. 

If you see his films, you will notice. What has he shown to us? just the neglected villages in india,  neglected people living there, living their lives, trying to break the bonds society has built around them.  but its dazzling us with its harsh reality, it makes us close our eyes to the real drama which has happened in many people like his film's actors, it shows us how blunt our promises of going ahead are.  There are no thousand cr sets, no beautiful seductress neither beaches or party songs to cheer of. But there is something, something you can not put you finger on, something which makes you think twice next time you think of a person because of his caste. something which reminds you the pain those people have gone through decades and decades before because of injustice of social opinions. 
and I still feel so sad for a question a person had asked on Quora! and I answered it. 

Will Nagraj Manjule reserve 50% seats of theatres showing "Sairat" for people of his kind? Will the ticket prices be lower (or free) for the same?

India is country where 50% of everything goes to people who dont deserve it. "Sairat" director Nagraj Manjule is a beneficiary of thet 50 % for obvious reasons. Should he not extend the gesture in the theatres also and follow the tradition.

Answer-First of all this movie isn't about caste I think. it is about struggle among two different social layers.

The objectification done in sairat is not only about caste, if the boy was of same caste as girl their parents would have let them marry and live happily ever after just as that?

Although his both films seems to be based on a caste based society, it does not at all depict that only because you want a equality you should run away or choose violence. Its mere representation that how much it is humiliating for a person who is almost out casted from society.

Although I am not one of the your so called "Their kind", I think  you can't label some one for the sake of "Their kind of people"

A problem always has two sides, and these movies are an effort to show a side which perhaps we have ignore or didnt know. Grass is always greener on the other  side.

So I dont think he needs to make it free or keep 50% price or make 50% reservations , since everyone appreciates what is good or what seems interesting enough to spend 100% money. Even the  people who gets government benefit because of caste.  

and thats how we still think, without appreciation for something which is so true and so pure and yet courageous we are still there. In the mud of Castes. But I guess day isnt far when we will have to accept this equality as it will be for all of us. I dont want to speak of the injustice of reservation thing, as its been seen that every thing which seems wrong has an end. Even the Caste discriminations ends and we see inter caste couples living happy married lives, even the color discriminations ends and we see a Deserving President sitting in the chair of worlds leading country. 

But it takes time, and thousand people like Nagraj who has made their pain and anger; their call for equality gets justice. 

There will be one day...

Julie and Julia, and damn spoilers ... :D

And just finished with Julie and Julia.. Wait. Something working in my head. Connecting the dots. Alright.
.
.
.
.
.
 I guess I have figured it out. 

So I was in middle of the book, and I was having this itching itching question that is this all a true story. I wanted to know who Julie and Julia are. How do they look. So on evening of yesterday I was trying to look it up on my cell. My god damn network was working perfectly alright till the moment I would open the god damn UC browser and then it would go null. As in entirely no internet sort of thing.I am not having my network pack active on the regular card but I am using one on my spare card, but it was working fine for all other things as what's app and instagram n Pinterest for gods sake. But it would go off like some kind of force trying to stop me from getting the information I wanted. 
And so that evening I could not look up anything,(because my fairy angel was preventing me from ruining my book reading experience before even finishing it up, but alas! :() Then next day I searched it on my laptop and there they were. Real people. Julia in her red hairs like that prison cook from orange is the new black and Julie like a happy looking a little fat lady in her sparkling smile and beautiful red carpet black dress. And they are real. And then... BAM!
I read a sentence that Julia didn't really liked Julie's project and she thought Julie was doing it for the sake for stunt. God... It was a huge spoiler. Why would on the freaking earth I read that. I wished later that my mind will bend with a thought that probably Julia was wrong about Julie. Probably this wasn't at all a stunt after all. But.... Noooo. Spoiler are worse kind of torture you know. You can't just get rid of them even if you want to. And then the rest of the book I read in a quest to find whether julie was actually doing it all for the sake of show off. And at some points I even felt it as... I could see how pissed she would get for something which isn't going fine.. I really kind of set aback with her snappiness  with Eric. He seems like a nice guy. Well I guess he is really in love with her to listen to all the things she says or the way she behaves with him. But apart from all this. I loved the way she kept going on. Against all odds. And I think after the end of book, Julia's comment was not true after all. I didn't felt this was any kind of stunt. Probably julia did achieved her cullanary skills after a lot of practice and failed experiments but her struggle isn't visual to me, (I am yet to read her memoir of course) but still...after a while, and churning my head with possible outcomes of what I thought of the book, I think the julie Julia project wasn't just a sort of stunt pulled off to gain popularity. After a while it has gone so much serious for Julie to make it come true or finish it up. And against all odds she fights back, let it be by pushing, cursing, throwing utensils, killing alive lobsters and maggots, getting marrow out of bones of a happy cow and snapping at the person who loved the most for the sake of this project through the way. As if she did had something to gain in the end. And even though I don't know Julia yet. I do like the Julia in Julie's head. Since she seems to be with Julie all that difficult and dangerous path, she wasn't someone who would call Julie a stunt maker or not serious. I think the only thing julie ever was through out the all things was that she was 'serious'. But it wasn't just about cooking,. It was something beyond cooking. It was about risking and yet expecting that this had a better end. And you have got it Julie. :) 
Loved your book, and your amazing humor of course. And as well. Use of word f*** often :D and your friends and your dedication... 
To  "julie and Julia "

Sairat... A half realistic tale

Well the first time I read about the new upcoming movie "Sairat" was when I read a joke about it on whats app.
After it I read an entirely contradictory opinion about someone who was giving critic opinion against such movies of teen age love, and had mentioned many such movies which had came with the similar plot. It even included a sarcastic remark as students are getting bold and getting an unusual side of teen adult love and these movies are definitely putting a contrasting effect on their minds.
So personally when I had seen "Fandry" for the first time, I thought it was an epic movie, not just because it won national award and because it showed a tale happening in a absolute realistic environment of India which divided our society in many layers for the sake of cast and creeds as well a social  status. Those whoever said to me that they were really bored while watching people running behind pigs I was smiling to myself feeling as when people are going to get out of these stereotypes of movies and start appreciating what is actually amazing and yet so difficult to explain in words, and the director is delivering in a single expression on actors face. It was fabulous beyond praise.
And then when I read the sarcastic review of the unknown person who had gave his opinion in such hurried manner and trying to put an effect on others opinion.
But when I watched movie finally and I felt how instant the reaction that was. Rather movie wasn't even about teen adult love only. It had a  lot to understand and feel beyond whatever had been written in that opinion.
I do agree that I was quote shocked with the end, but it left me for thinking that is it the end of all the hustle they went through?
but even then they did went through it all and sustained against all the odds, and still the society was not giving a chance to take freedom and survive by going against it.

And I think that is the purpose of movies, rather it should be... That they agitates the way you think, they give you a new view towards you have been keeping your eyes closed. This is of course true that not everyones love story will not be successful as it was of the movie, nor will it have a gore end like it was in movie.
So ultimately movie was one of the memorable ones that I will always remember.

To Sairat.
and to making genuine effort of making realistic movies.

Edit: While searching frantically that whether film is based on true story, I found this link

http://www.forbes.com/sites/dongroves/2016/05/11/teenage-romance-sairat-breaks-box-office-records-in-india/#5ca1044462ed

an article in forbes eh :D thats awesome....

Me before you

So a book whose movie is upcoming. which stars one of my favorite series heroin(Emilia Clarke- Daenerys Targaryen) and opposite actor whom I thought was only awesome looking pirate after johnny depp (and will turner of course) in pirates of Caribbean.  so I dug a little deeper and found out the book on which the movie is based on and My goodness. Well I am sort of mushy romantic type of books reader and this was ultimately the one, So on my way home for my holidays I finished almost half of the novel while I was traveling with extreme heat and strawberries to company me while I fought an urge to be nauseous again, and it was worth it....

but then the remaining novel I read later and

Worse worse worse...
This time was the worse period where I cried.
God... I was literally shaking with fear when I finally got at some of the last moments. As if I was the one who was having a closure. Perhaps it has something to do with me being extra emotionally attached to books or the author did fantastic job in creating a world so real through her writing.  And then it all came over me like sudden terror. A fear of death and the definite wish of will. God. Why world has to be so cruel. And do we really get to choose the death? Isnt it's kind of a thing that we should wait upon.
I was lying on my bed in my home of my parents and there was a blank space where my grandma would sleep and for all at once it was about everything.
About life
about death
about letting your most favourite person in the world go.
I am so damn sure if my parents found me sobbing and crying like that over a book they will look at me absolutely with disbelief.
But that's me... I get these sudden urges to read that makes me feel vulnerable and emotional.
I kind of felt that author was being little like new at writing. Absolutely in the start it didn't had any emotional part into it. But as I read and things started go build inside my head like the kind of home Will had and the kind of home Louisa had. And then I was literally just wishing that ... This one had a happy end. But it would have been such a cliche. Seriously.
But then it didn't feel cliche after all. Even when it ended. It seemed perfect. And I was agreed with Will. Right from the moment he said that he can't be the way he is for rest of the life, and not being able to reach out for her by himself.
And then it came to me that not all the stories are supposed to end with a happy ending and even if they do have kind of a sad end, it doesn't have to be a bad story.
I really appreciated her efforts to keep him, make him understand that she loved him. But I was absolutely agreed with the fact that  it was him who was right all the way.

I have seen people making this television thing on the death wish. Well.in a way I did remembered paralytic  story of aruna shanbag which I read. And felt would it be better if we did approved this kind of thing and gave relief to these trapped souls. But... How can someone has a right over something which has no control of humans.
But then who am I to give any opinion about how they should look at life and then it's not just because they are paralytic means life has ended.

God ... I shuddered at the thought of not being able to move my finger and relying on some one else for all things. And it's such a study of deep human emotions, a study of people around the person suffering, people loving them despite of the disability they have, and people wanting just an escape from this all agony. I wish I could write more about this, this death subject kind of gets my nerves. I wish there could be an easy answer to everything, so far for this thing.

I can only pray for all those who are out there fighting against these emotions or those who are having terrible moment of time will find a way out of it. Either by their own choice or destiny may bring something good to look forward to. I wish all such distressed soul will be at rest, dead or alive. ..

I guess if you took a little time reading my blog, you might as well read its synopsis. :)

so here it is, its from wikipedia of course, because baby once I start writing short description it goes on for more pages than I could count. 

Will Traynor was a high achieving and wealthy man who enjoyed life to its fullest, whether this was his successful and demanding job, the many adventures he had experienced, or his equally successful girlfriend. However, he becomes permanently disabled due to an unfortunate road accident.

Two years later, Louisa Clark loses her job at the local café "The Buttered Bun". She is a 26-year-old, unambitious woman with very few qualifications. Louisa lives with her working-class family and is constantly outshone by her younger, more intelligent sister, Treena, who is a single mother. Her parents become disappointed because the entire family depends on her wage. Louisa goes to the Job Centre where Syed, the Job Centre assistant, finds a unique position: look after a disabled man. Despite no prior experience, Louisa is hired by Camilla Traynor, the mother of Will, because she thinks her son needs someone able to brighten his spirits. Louisa notices how falsely everyone is acting in Granta House, Will's family mansion. She later finds out that Mr. Traynor, Will's father, has an extra-marital relationship. Will becomes more communicative and open-minded during his time with Louisa acting as his caregiver.

Louisa notices that Will's wrists are covered with scars. One day, she overhears Will's mother and sister talking privately and learns that he tried to commit suicide shortly after his mother refused to grant his wish to end his life through Dignitas, an assisted suicide organization. Horrified at his attempt to commit suicide, his mother agrees to honor his wish, but only on the condition that he agrees to live six more months. In that time, she secretly plans to change his mind and show him life is still worth living.

Louisa decides to keep the fact that she overheard hidden from Will and his mother. However, she does end up telling Treena and together they come up with ideas to convince Will to abandon his wish. Over the next few weeks, Will loosens up and agrees on Louisa shaving his beard and cutting his shaggy hair, which he himself had not done in ages. Louisa executes her plans and takes Will to outings, and although Will is significantly happier, she senses that it isn't enough to convince him. Finally, she's overwhelmed and decides she can no longer be a part of Will's assisted death. Mrs. Traynor recognizes the positive effect Louisa has had on Will and persuades her until she comes back to work with Will. In a last and desperate try, Louisa tells Will’s parents and sister that she wants to organize for Will a foreign visit to the island of Mauritius. Meanwhile, the financial situation in Louisa’s family gets worse as her father loses his job, but fortunately, Mr. Traynor offers Louisa’s father a position at the castle.

Will and Louisa end up spending their days talking frequently to each other, her being his caregiver. He notices that she has a very limited life and that her ambitions are quite small, which is the exact opposite of him before his accident. Will tries to motivate Louisa to change her life, to start doing something different and interesting. She's still seeing her longtime boyfriend, Patrick, though they break up due to his jealousy.

With the help of the internet and Treena, Louisa manages to plan a holiday full of adventures for Will in Mauritius. The night before returning home, Louisa confesses to Will that she loves him and kisses him. Will tells her that he has something to say, but she knows he wants to tell her about his plans with Dignitas. Louisa confesses that she knows. Will tells her that she has made their time together the time of his life, but that he can not bear to live life in a wheelchair. He would be following through with his plans. Angry and hurt, Louisa stomps off and does not speak to him for the rest of their trip. When they return home Will's parents are pleasantly surprised to see him in such good physical condition. Louisa, however, abdicates as caretaker, and they understand that Will has not changed his mind.

On the night of Will's flight to Switzerland, Louisa decides she has to see Will one last time. Her mother opposes because of the same reason Louisa didn't want to work as Will's caregiver at the start, but Louisa gets approval from her father and proceeds. When she meets Will in Dignitas, they both agree that the past six months have been the best in their lives. He dies shortly after in the clinic. Will leaves Louisa a considerable amount of money to continue her education and to expand her horizons beyond her hometown.

Time-gazing...

Well its been a fuzzy and crazy week with all the overwhelming emotions flooding in with Post-graduation finally coming to an end, possible ways of upcoming future. 

When I was in my graduation I actually felt as if I was in such a dumb college campus, it strictly looked like a block of educational campus with no-nonsense serious teachers and huge lawn but quite use less to hang around. 
So when I first entered into my college of pune for my MCA I was ecstatic when I saw those whirling roads and canopy of huge trees leading to my future college, and man... That was it.
That was the moment in my life that I believed dreams actually comes true. 
If I had to stay in that college for like 10 years I'd be darn happy about it, because yet I havent found a beautiful place like my college campus to take laisuerly  strolls among those same huge trees canopy, and heavenly smelling grounds after the rain, friends sitting and laughing  across the wooden benches, (more than friends whispering secrets in each others ears), or couples fighting over something so important or singles waiting dutifully with their bikes ready to receive their friends , it all seemed so dispersed and amazing to a girl with a observing eye. 
and then there I was taking a one last stroll out after my final actual visit to college. All I was seeing was that girl coming in with new dreams in her eyes, and that girl who was engulfed in thoughts, and the girl who wished this should never end while going through a rain fall from there and of course finally laughing at the stairs of cultural center and with cake icing across cheeks and suddenly overwhelmed with all the emotions and memories this place had given me. 

And then they say, 

The best you ever had is just a memory.

and I found out that how true it is, but those memories stay with us, wrapped up very carefully in satin and silk of time and emotions and we can actually look back at them with utter love towards each of these moments when we were infinite and we were happy that we wished it should never end, and it should go on... just go on...
Like the long shadows on the road on crisp evenings in summer, and soft putter of rain on the window pane on wet nights of rainy day or the soft coverlet of full moon's light on a moony night...

And those are the times of Time-gazing. 


To the post-graduation and the bitter-sweet memoirs of a important part of my life to cherish...