Blinded Me...

This was a surprise evening for me with an experience 

restaurant with theme of blindfold. 

We reached there by our timing and waited few 

minutes in queue as we saw few people coming 

out after finishing their dinner. 

As they took off their blindfolds , it was taking 

them some time to adjust to the ambiance outside. 

As their opinion was that it was an amazing experience. 

As they gave us introduction about how the idea

works they mentioned not to remove our blindfolds 

and how we can communicate if we need anything. 

When our turn came. we made a queue and started

walking inside while placing hands on their volunteers shoulders.

It was bit uncomfortable at first since I was quite

worried about my lenses. 

We started walking towards the restaurant as they

asked us to take baby steps. I could feel a pull 

from behind as some people were lagging behind. 

There was some meditating bird sound music 

playing in the background. We walked and they

guided us to sit on our respective places. 

We were given some guided meditation and then

served with the starters and beverages. 

Beverage being soda based I shook it mistakenly

and it spread around on our table, but it was

cleaned afterwards when we asked them to. 

We were given some activities to complete and 
We recognised 

those correctly as it seems when our eyes are closed 

all the rest of our sense start to work out better. We 

could even smell the disinfectant so strongly like never

before. 

We were  told to write and draw while our eyes closed. 

Never have I ever in my life tried to sketch or

write while my eyes closed, it's hell lot harder. 

It took me few minutes to actually make out the outline

of the paper while my friend gave me an idea to fold it

so we can identify it easily. 

We draw and our papers were collected 

to be given later. 

Then we were served dinner in plastic plates , 

ours was non veg preference so we were served with

fried chicken and chicken gravy with roti and rice. 

We could hear everyone munching around, well

yeah that seems even more annoying when your

senses are highlighted, but it was fine. 

I started to eat and it felt as natural as eating with

our eyes open. We finished through our course and 

then the desert was served. 

There was meditation music playing on the background. 

All the volunteers and the host especially were courteous 

and professional that not once we were confused or

surprised despite of being blindfolded. 

It wasn't anything fancy but some cakes and sweets. 

We were given some tissues to clean up and we were

led outside the same way we entered. 

While going outside I felt few curtains besides me 

and it was really nice feeling that I was able to get that. 

After we were led outside and told to remove our 

blindfolds. 

It took me few minutes to get used to the disoriented 

lenses but then it was alright after some time. 

We picked up our paper over which we draw 

our objects and then left for the

night after thanking the host. 

 When I returned I remembered something, 

When I was in college, there used to be a guy

in my route who was blind. he would travel by

public transport everyday. He would chat around 

and act as if he was normal. He would even tell which

stop is it just by keeping track of the stops went by. 

He would be right every time, as he would tell the 

right stop when people with eyesight couldn't 

see due to rush. 

I would always imagine how difficult his life must be

or that wether he only tries so hard at trying to be treated

normal. 

I think today I have received my answer. 

It's just that when we lack something, our other

senses make up for them. 

It's not something less. it's just something special

that you don't own it, but you are given something 

else to balance it out. 

I guess thats enough for me now to get used to

the fact of my own defects, that they aren't something 

less but evened out. 

 An absolutely amazing experience… 

#Blindfold #experience #restaurant 

On The Eve Of Work Anniversary

Good times are like diamonds, you have to

identify them to know their value … 

It had been an year since I started my new life

rather corporate life here at Bangalore. 

The day I stepped foot into my office campus 

a weird sense filled my mind as if something 

amazing was about to begin. 

I saw the water fountains and so many people 

around me going on their own, but it was special 

for me. As if I was going for a ride of lifetime. 

Today after an year I feel absolutely amazing 

filled with this feeling of satisfaction that

a lot can happen over an year. 

Things can go wrong, things can go absolutely 

fabulous, people can hurt you as well they

might just love you to the moon and back. 

This place holds a special value for me now,

for teaching me the fact that our wishes aren't

just some kind of useless thoughts we have. 

But that they do come true. 

This place with all its aura and shadows and 

sun rays and evenings and weekends has been 

making my days better and better as they go by. 

Looking forward to the new ones to celebrate 

the festival of life. 

#workanniversary 

A memorable Sunday Service- Gurudwara

It has been almost two years, since I been to some another religious place of worship.
This Sunday we received an opportunity to visit Gurudwara- a place where Sikhs come together for congregational worship.


I wasn't really expecting much of an experience here since I have never been to a Gurudwara before. As we started our journey we found out a reason to be happy about our visit there.


It was a dry afternoon yet roads in Bangalore seemed to be holding afternoon shadows making it warmer rather than parched. I could clearly see the leaf patterns the shadows made on the roads we were passing by. I could feel the afternoon breeze around us making it even more pleasant.


Another thing about Bangalore weather, they have the sweetest afternoons...


We reached and I could hear voices singing something in higher pitch, I saw a white curvy dome shaped building which stood on one side of the road.
We crossed the road while covering our heads which is actually a custom here so as to depict the respect for the Guru that resides there.


We then washed our feet in a water filled stone and washed our hands.
I entered the door which lead us inside and the first thing I noticed was the beautiful yellow light that hold the ambiance of the place. As I searched for the source of it, I saw beautiful glass bead chandeliers hanging around on the top.


As I didn't know what else to do, I just stood there crossing my fingers and listening to the prayers they were reciting. We had to bow and touch the ground three times before saying the final prayer.


We then lead to the Langar where food is served to anyone without any charge. We had already decided that we will be doing the help in kitchen. So many people were helping in making the meal, including kids, adults and the elderly.  We did help by making some Roti's. Huh! Missed the old days of cooking at home...


We then waited in line for the lunch and sat for the lunch.


We were served with a simple food of Roti, sabji, rice and dal. There was also a desert of kheer.
I have to say, whenever the food is served in any religious place, despite of all the simplicity of it, it tasted like the most fulfilling meal you could ever had.


I did bow down to the Guru Granth Sahib, listened to their prayers and tried to find that one moment I try to find when I go to such places, but it came to me when I was just about to start my meal and I looked around.
I could see random people serving the food, people opening their palms to the Roti that was served to them and at that moment I felt being  part of a feeling. A common feeling of equality. Under that specific roof no one was poor, rich, unaccepted or unwelcomed. We were all being there as one and it was all so serene at the same time. As if our individuality had been shed outside of that door, and we were being together through whatever it was.
I finished my meal, each grain of it and felt as if being happy for the satisfaction that was there.


We then collected some Prasad for our friends who could not join us and left for the day again in the brisk afternoon.


Temples give me a sense of serene presence as if being with someone elderly whos advice we seek in the moments of doubt, Churches give me peace as if being true to ones inner voice, and now Gurudwara lets us forget the Me part of myself, and its indeed one of the memorable feeling I am going to remember for a long time...


To the integrated souls, to the humble and down to earth place of worship...


To Gurudwara!




Merci!

Philosophize this 2. Friedrich Nietzsche and the truth of his Nihilism, Love, Philosophy

Whenever till now I have heard this name Friedrich Nietzsche, I start to hate this man, rather I used to hate him for his Nihilism concept. A concept which tells a sort of weirdly pessimistic world where there is no hope and we are just meant to come into this world and die.

After going through three episodes of Friedrich Nietzsche's philosophy I want to admit my mistake and stop hating this guy.

Again a short post about what I understood that made me change my prejudice about Friedrich Nietzsche's world view.

Envy- Since we start to understand what envy is, we are taught to resist its poisonous thorns  and keep ourselves satisfied in what we have. Nietzsche on the other hand gives a view as to take envy as a reminder that you lack something and you should work to achieve that thing. I found this very interesting way of figuring out what we actually look for to become.

Religion and Alcohol- Nietzsche talks about avoiding alcohol to momentarily escaping the reality and sadness we feel. Alcohol has a pro and cons column where in pro's we can list that it gives us a 1 hour or 2 hour high of happiness or relaxation which we steal from the next day in order to escape the suffering of today.
Religion on the other hand has the same effect where people tries to be lost in an oblivion where we forget our worries and try to put them onto something greater than us just to escape the reality. Again the same effect as being drunk on alcohol. (This was very hard for me to grasp, being one of the  most drunkard on prayer stuff. But once it made sense, I was surprised that how fitting this all is.)

 Nietzsche says if you are trying to escape the thing you should suffer through, you will never have the will to fight it through, which in turn will leave you into a careless state which neither helps nor leads to anything else. In his opinion we should rather stay cautious and find out the real ways to fight off this feeling of suffering by overcoming the difficulties we face.

Nietzsche's nihilism concept was actually meant to be fight off by the use of our mind and goal making ability to obtain certain meaning in our life. He says one should actually think of their start of life as a Nihilistic place which we have to escape by finding out what we love from the bottom of our heard regardless of opinions of others, traditions of others and influence of others. Only that way we can get the desired person we want ourselves to be. The happiest, capable and your own higher self by keeping the calculated goals ahead of us.

Nietzsche's concept of love kind of made me sad, although I think its worth thinking about.

Nietzsche thinks when it comes to love, love and greed aren't really two different things. When we want something in our life, we wish to attain it by no means what. When we chose a person to fall in love with, he is like the counterpart of the things that we desire to pursue. If you are a short person, you wish to find a tall person. If you cant sing but love the songs you wish you'd find someone who can. and so many such things  that we lack and find ourselves attracted to. Nietzsche doesnt really call us bad people for blindly thinking this greed of traits as love, he just puts it forward as it is.

The end of the series was that Nietzsche was probably the most misunderstood philosopher of the history with having so many layered opinions about human beings. I am so glad that finally my views about his work have cleared up. I have actually started liking this harsh truth guy instead of hating his prejudiced conception I had.

This one is to Nietzsche! A progressive philosopher...

Merci!

Philosophize this 1. Arthur Schopenhauer and the dark cloud hanging on our heads

So while taking on new challenge of understanding philosophy I have started listening to philosophize this.

I came across this unusual concept of will to life.

I am just keeping to short so as to put forth what my takeaway was.

In human mind, there is a constant yearning for something always. We have this craving so as to achieve the so called happiness we feel.
 Our world is made of things which all have this will to life, a will to exist and coexist.
We earn, play, eat, drive, buy, sell, love only to escape from this yearning, this constant restless feeling of not being happy enough.

We fall in love because of this restlessness, we try find people who are better than us, we try to find those who compliment us by having something we don't possess. This is because we wish to create our future generations better than us.

There are three types of people in the Arthur Schopenhauer's theory.

Two of those have this restless feeling constantly nagging them, who are 99.99 % of the people.

Type 1 decides to escape this by keeping new goals ahead of them, by trying to get rid of feeling of nothingness.

Type 2 gets irritated with the constant struggle and decide to do nothing to escape this feeling, going into depression.

and there is a Type 3 who take this feeling and transform it into a heavenly bliss by considering everything that exist around them as one.

They are always in bliss because to them its all one. It is always the happiness that surround them.

The few times we escape this restlessness is when we feel calm and soothing in the natures presence.
The mountains, sea and meadows makes us forget our struggles and allows us to exist just as a part of it all without any struggle reminder to make us sad.

I guess its all self explanatory, I didn't agree with all the concepts Arthur Schopenhauer has. But some of them are worth thinking about...

Mercy...

The most underrate pleasure- Cooking

Since I was a kid, I loved to read books related to cooking.
Out of all the books that I read, cooking and food related books are my favorites.
Give me anything that talks about the history of cheese making which involves diseases also born due to cheese and its processing, I am the happiest person on earth.

I have watched endless food shows, read food related articles, books even biographies related to food and its artists- chefs.

And if anything that will always stay with me throughout my life I think that will be my love towards home cooked delicious food.

Some of my cousins also have these amazing cooking skills, my own sisters who takes immense proud in her sea food and non vegetarian delicacies, I think we all have inherited this love for home cooking from my grandmother. My grandmother was one of the few people who would take cooking as a part of happiness in life. She would sprung to her feet if there is an opportunity to cook something only she can make as the Karela sabji or steamed Modak or Upama with her own style. I have seen her in her 80's toiling near stove, taking her time and preparing the best tasting food she can by giving it time and taking a pleasure out of it.

I recently watched a beautiful documentary which explored the food around the world through the elements which are absolutely required for the preparation of the food Fire, Air, Water, Earth...

I couldnt get enough of it as I was watching something beautiful unfold in front of me through centuries and the present food culture.

I dont know how and why I gain so much of the pleasure through cooking or rather even thinking or reading about it, but its an absolutely unforgettable experience of making something with  your own hands which has its own behavior and culture and history and taste and smells, it has to be one of the best meditation practices to achieve something out of some raw ingredients.

To the hungry me....



Cooked

Travor Noah-Born a Crime(Stories from a south African Childhood)

There are some people who we are met by accident and mesmerized by the way they speak or react to the situation. And on one such afternoon while surfing anti-Trump squad comedians, I found Travor.

I was totally engrossed by his subtle humor and laughing dimples and intelligently dropped jokes, that I spent 2 weeks going (Fangirling) over all his shows available on youtube.

Then I came across his interview with Obama and it just left me speechless with the  whole Travor Aura he was sporting around with president Obama and I just wanted to know who the hell is this man.

And then I had to order his book which recently became New York times no. 1 best seller.

Travor Noah-Born a Crime(Stories from a south African Childhood)

It says “Essential reading… fast paced, funny and inspirational… Travor Noah’s life is all about achieving the impossible” with a wall mural face of laughing Travor on a wall and a African woman staring at him with such an admiration.

Today when I finish his book after two weeks or so, and I look back at its cover again, I feel how appropriate it is for the tale he has to tell. His ruined parts in his mural kind of depicts his difficult and lonely childhood along with the abuse he witnessed and went through, yet his brilliant brown eyes are shiny with a good humored laugh he sports, I feel a sense of envy for his mother and himself for the amazing journey they have been through.

Travor shares his birth story and his mother’s reasons of having a colored child from a Swiss man, he shares his fears and the lessons his mother made him learn as well the ones he learnt through his journey.

 I have been following the whole paradigm shift with the racism in recent year, and as it goes on, being a south African comedian as one of the leading comedy shows is of course an achievement. Travor is of course inspirational for most of his success story, but in the book the whole time you cant forget but admire Patricia , his mother who turns out to be his team mate and the beholder of how his life and thoughts are shaped.

Patricia gives sex lessons and manners to 10 year old Travor , teaches him to behave and makes him a man she wishes he should be. Patricia tries hard in her marriage, and prays for the God beyond any of the obstacles in between, giving hope to Travor by her weird eccentric positivity. Patricia even bails him out of jail, while teaching him valuable lessons along the way and it just blows  your mind.

As how can someone be so positive and creative despite being born into horrific conditions and still hope for the best in future. How can one be so calm and considerate despite being shot in head just few hours ago.

I slowly fell for Travor and his story of achieving the impossible but after having this read, I would say Patricia, his mother is the real hero behind his morals and the reality based opinions.

While I go through the hard moments Travor has when he gets the news that his mother been shot, I missed my own mother terribly and my eyes welled up for his grief. She survives like a miracle and yet praises God for blessing a son like Travor I laughed at their lovely bond and closed the book with a new found respect for him and his mother together.

A Refreshing read after many days!

Travor Noah- Born a Crime…

Some memorable quotes from the book:

If God is with me, who can be against me? She was never scared, even when she should have been…

Don’t cry about the past. Life is full of pain. Let the pain sharpen you, but don’t hold on to it. Don’t be bitter…

She taught me how to think…

Being more of a man doesn’t mean your woman has to be less than you.

Regret is an eternal question you will never have to answer to, “what if…”,”If only…”,”I wonder what would have…”you will never, never known and it will haunt you for the rest of your days.

The richer you are, the more choices you have. That is the freedom of money.

He only wants a woman who is free because his dream is to put her in a cage.

I saw the futility of violence, the cycle that just repeats itself, the damage that’s inflicted on people that they in turn inflict on others.

You don’t have to teach me a lesson twice.

You want to live in a world where someone is good or bad, where you either hate them or love them, but that’s not how people are.

Mercy!

Born-Crime-Trevor-Noah

Change of roles

So this post is about a day when I felt as if changing from one person into another by a 

quick change of time and situation. 

After so many times of deciding to go for an event of social event arranged by my company I had a good opportunity this weekend. 

After a long night surviving half of the movie “Mohabbatein” -(my roommate insisted on this that I must watch this movie , because duh…who hasn't watched Mohabbatein?) , I woke up in haze in morning so sure of leaving

for the day. 

we left our place and went into office first to get the projector and I bought 4 bars of energy bars, just to be handy in case we get hungry on the way. 

We met a guy who was also coming with us for this event and then we set onto our way to Anchetty which was the village(2 n half hour away from Bangalore) for teaching the kids in high school computer programming. 

I was quite happy and excited about this rather than my usual nervous one. 

We slept while going there since the road was too long and weather was amazing. 

We reached there and I was quite surprised to see a young boy of mere 25-26 being the headmaster 

of the school. 

The students on the other hand were looking at us with curious eyes as if we were some kind 

of new animals in zoo. 

I loved this feeling of role reversals since this is the reason I wanted to do this. (when I was in college,

if any people from company would come around I would feel super cautious as if what they must

be thinking about us). 

I found out that they just feel like helping us. I just wanted to tell them to keep going and one

day they can reach at the same place I was standing. I took control after some time, tried to teach 

them what I knew. and made sure they understood whatever I taught. Later I received a feedback from one of the manager who was with us that I was pretty good at whatever I tried to teach them. 

That was the best part of whole day, when you know you have done something worthwhile by putting yourself in a different kind of situation. 

The whole experience reminded me of my school and my college days, also gave me a realisation that I have begun to understand how to be social when I meet new people. 

And also that none of what we do in our life goes to waste. 

Of course as per Ayn Rand, “there is no selfless altruism”, and that people do things for others

because it makes them feel good about themselves . 

So as long as both are benefited from the act of a good deed. I don't mind doing it. 

selflessly or selfishly… 

We returned from this place after 3 hour session

and a 3 and half hour long drive from Bangalorean traffic, and then we had plans to go out for a party 

which was in a club. 

I changed from my so called descent attire to a party wear with heeled boots and red lips, arrived at a dark place where people drink and smoke and a weird stench welcomes us. 

It was as if walking into a garbage chute. It took a while for me to adjust to the dark 

and lights and the smell. 

But then as per time i was quite used to it. I don't drink so I couldn't do much except stare

at the people around me drinking beers and wines and LIT’s and blowing smoke from 

hookah in the air. When the Dj started everyone was pretty high and 

we were on the dance floor. The thing I love about this is that nobody gives a crap about what you are wearing or how you dance or what your name is. 

You become a part of unknown feeling of letting go and it takes you in regardless of your identity. 

The disco lights were twinkling above and the beats filled the room. 

The Dj was amazing , so we didn't stop till it was the last song of the evening. 

As always I danced like crazy, laughed like a mad woman getting high on the feeling of being with high 

people. Checked out some people, some checked me out. 

But that was sort of like the ambiance of the place. We saw a mild fight which fortunately didn't

turn into any argument. 

watched a women get way too high and loose control. And then left for the night, wearing glow sticks and 

stamps on our hands , as the proof that yes we spent an evening in a crazed place. It was raining outside and I switched on to  Coldplay song. 

As always a weird feeling surrounded me of being two person in one day. As if both people from those two situations maybe won't even recognize me in crossovers. 

Why be happy for selfishness then, or

why be happy for the freedom and the regret that comes with it. 

I felt as if I am balancing the sum and it all ends up into a big zero anyway. 

So this one is to being two people at once. 

To the point where you can't get the difference. 

Once you see the results , it becomes an addiction !

Ha! The one thing I always wanted to add into my life and that was a healthy workout routine. Me and my roommate decided to join Gym and so we went to find one. We entered into one and since then lot many things changed.
First was that she has to move to Bangalore, which left me alone here with a challenge to go to gym alone. We would have the most fun in whole day in Gym, well the main reason of this is that it's a unisex gym. and actually it's a men's gym where women are also allowed. #Genderequality ;) So including the owner , our whole gym is filled with quirky and tattooed, gym freak people. Which is pretty much a good reason to keep going every day for any single girl  ;)

 Apart from that it's on my way to home, so I don't have to twist my road and go there rather I just need to get off from office commute and go straight into gym. As I said there are very less girls in my gym so that gives me benefit of being the smartest cow in the herd of sheep.
I go straight from office so I get to be two people at once, winged eyeliner and 4 inch high heeled chick to sports shoed working out determined chick.
I have this useless quality of turning into an extremely different person when I change something slightly.
 I love the ambiance there where everyone seems to be working on one single thing and that's to look better and fit. Some do come there for actual health problems, and some to reduce weight but I go there to gain weight and a confidence that I wish to look even better than I look now.
 I wake up early to follow my abs workout and look forward to the pain in muscles in the evening where I don't have to think about any of the bullshit in my life.
The high pitch music thumps in my ears as I move forward each day with one bit by bit. Getting high on adrenaline and excitement. So that's how it goes. One of the notable experience I am having. #workoutdays !

Game of Fake and Real

Alright folks, so three things.

Artificial Intelligence Revolution

Improved Vocal Manipulation Techniques

Improved Video Manipulation Techniques

 Few days ago the news came in as scientists shut down their Artificial Intelligence program after the Bots started to speak with one another by creating the code language which was incomprehensible by humans. Well yeah, sounds like the movie I-Robot right, where Will Smith is afraid of Robots because he thinks they are dangerous if given too much power?

Yeah, the movie goes on and on while ending with a robot taking control over human lives and telling them how they should live because they do not have the ability to take smart decisions for their life and they tend to commit mistakes.

Well how close are we to this fiction now? What if the AI Bots starts making complex languages and do their own incomprehensible work which no human can understand.

Facebook has shut down two artificial intelligences that appeared to be chatting to each other in a strange language only they understood.

Another two things which I came across where an Adobe technology can create your voice’s imitation while taking in only 20 minutes of your speech and make transcript of anything anyone wish to make a person say. Wow. Well that sounds horrifying ha.

Oh hold on. You thought its only limited to that.

Well we got Video manipulation too. Where you can take any prerecorded video and make the person in the video behave his facial expression according to another real time person imitating the words he wish to say.

So basically, you can take this video thing and combine it with the vocal thing and you’ve got yourself a reality you wish to see.

Wanna see president Trump saying “I am the worse president of the history!”? yep you have got that.

Wanna see president saying “I am sorry, We shall work on the Climate change together and make the world a better place”, got it.

Oh and also the main reason over which the creator of this technology debated was?

She wants to see her dead mother talking with her through a hologram, So?

Someone you loved passed away? Why wait, just pull out any video you have of them, feed them the things you want to hear, and press play. As easy as it can be.

No mourning required. Just get the hell out of reality and get your shit together within no time since they didn’t die right? How something doesn’t exist if it’s right there, in front of you?

I was travelling to my office in the morning when I was listening to this astonishing podcast about how the virtual reality can affect us in upcoming years featuring the interviews of the creators of this technology, and when asked about whether they understand the consequences of this, she was so freaking clue less. She couldn’t even blurt out a one full sentence defending her stand about this.

Somehow a random thought came into my mind about what Elon musk’s speculation about us living in a simulation and we do not have any idea about how to find it out.

I open my eyes, take a look around, and see other vehicles on road, and look at the rainy day’s sky and suddenly feel a shiver as what if what I see around is even a part of an experiment? What if we live in a virtual world where we comprehend everything based on our 5 senses and all of them could be manipulated?

I mean we already figured out how to imitate vision, audition and smell (up to some extent), how hard would it be to go all the way and manipulate all our 5 senses and make a new customized reality for us?

How crazy is this?

I mean, if one can think way further in future, do I have to verify each thing I see? Do I need to fix the filters to what I read and see and hear as to check whether this is real or not? And as it was mentioned at the end of podcast, of course in the end creating fake will be always easy than detecting the fake.

As per one of the characters in GOT said yesterday. Well, yesterday it was just a stupid thing Lord Baelish blurts out as part of his being a jerk process, but then today it seems so significant.

“Fight every battle, everywhere, always, in your mind. Everyone is your enemy, everyone is your friend. Every possible series of events is happening all at once. Live that way and nothing will surprise you. Everything that happens will be something that you’ve seen before.”

Interesting/Irrelevant American politics

     How come we start to enjoy things that are extremely irrelevant or not important in our life? 

i am a kind of person who was never interested in politics, it felt as if an extra branch of which i never needed to know anything about. 

i hated the campaigns they made, trying to get ahead of one another while throwing dirt on each other and then making mess of everything while being people who runs the country. 

and then I came across American politics few months ago and it suddenly changed my whole perspective of how one sees politics. Is that all it takes? a person who shocks you with the amount of idiotic things he does? 

and why should I be the one to bother even? 

when it's not even my country? 

but then as i dive into the question of why and how can a person like him lead a whole country with millions of people including different race and women and of different genders, i feel sicken to my stomach each passing day. 

I watch the random and each and every episode featuring comedians who's career been made since this election was over. scrutinising every sentence president says or does or doesn't say or doesn't do. 

It grows like an obsession with something different that you can't keep away from. 

I laugh so hard at their jokes and feel it's impact at the same time. 

feel sorry for those suffering who's health insurances are going to be snatched away in the name of reform, feel sorry for those who were banned from having a hope for their future, and also for those who served their country and now not be able to do so because of something they were born with snatches their right to do so. 

how can we begin to comprehend this all and still keep hope for upcoming days? 

i sit in my office and explain why am i interested in american politics and not aware neither interested of what goes around in my own country. Maybe i don't even give a shit about what they might be going through each day with new shocking news everyday, perhaps to me it's just a matter of shock element and to me it's just something to laugh and then leave it behind. But then it seems even more horrific. 

It's not even that difficult rather it's easy if you consider to find the golden means while making sure there is little damage done to anyone specific or group of people. but people put forth their personal views and wishes to satisfy their own agenda and then it all just goes to a shitty sewer made of hurt and suffering. and that's how we live through, taking on the extreme conditions which we can not understand neither change , while trying to make best of the situations.